- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Warning: Please don’t reply if you are going to be nasty or judge me.
I had an amazing bachelorette party, which was kind of a day out too. Anyway, after the park we went to dinner. Then we headed out to a club. We were only there maybe an hour when a bunch of young guys approached us. One was 19, the other 22 and the other 23. They knew each other from wrestling together. Anyway, the first guy commented on my ring and said that it was beautiful and that my FI must love me a lot to get a ring like that! We then started chatting and he made it very obvious that he was very attracted to me. He even wrote his number on these ‘bachelorette party notes’ we had on the table. I went to the toilet and came back and he was sitting in my seat. He then told me to sit on his lap, and I did as a joke. But before I knew it, I was sitting there for a few minutes. He kept asking could he kiss me and I kept telling him no. He then asked could he get a kiss on the cheek, so I gave him that.
We then started dancing and he picked me up and swung me around a lot. I got quite drunk and kept asking him to pick me up. He was so strong and made me feel like such a little woman (in a good way!). The whole night he wouldn’t go away, even though myself and my friends told him to go find single ladies. Yet he stayed and kept joking and playing with us, always with a beeline towards me. I guess at first I just thought it was all a funny joke and that it was just crazy bachelorette party stuff. After a while though, he started feeling me up and I kinda let him. He never touched my genitals, but my breasts and butt.
Anyway, towards the end of the night we were on the dance floor and my friend left us alone. I don’t actually know why. Anyway, he leaned down and kissed me. It was not a tongue kind of kiss; it was more of an extended pecking kiss. I pulled away and told him I couldn’t do that. I gave him a big hug and he leaned down and touched my hair and face. It all felt oddly spiritual and intense to the point where I was crying and felt like I was meant to meet him as a last goodbye to my single life. Anyway, the night then ended and we went to the exit. He hugged me goodbye and said to make sure to call him if I were ever free, since he had written his number on the note. He also said he’d be so jealous if he saw me in our town with my husband. He walked away and I looked back to see if he’d look back, and he did. I then went back inside to find the note was gone. So that’s that.
Anyway, FI and I have a bit of a strange agreement. I’m basically allowed to do what I did, as long as I don’t kiss or have sex with a man. I even told FI all about it. However, what I didn’t tell him is that this experience has made me so sad. I feel like I fell for that guy. He supplied me what is missing in my relationship. DF and I are great together, but we haven’t had much sex over the past few months due to the fact that I kept getting yeast infections. And even when we did have more sex it’s too vanilla for me. I want a man to grab me and take me, and that is just not him. He has done that before, but I always have to tell him. He’ll do it a few times, and then it goes back to the way it always is.
The guy in the club was everything I want physically. He was a big guy who tossed me around like a rag doll, who made me feel like a woman, who touched my face and my hair, who made it so obvious he wanted me as a WOMAN.
Anyway, I am pretty upset about the whole thing now. I feel like I had this amazing connection with a guy, but it is 3 weeks to our wedding and WTF am I thinking? My friend told me it’s because FI and I haven’t connected sexually in so long. I know that’s a big part of it, but I still feel bad. I wish I could go be with this guy, even once. WTH is up with me? I was *so* excited about getting married, and now I feel like there is something wrong with me/us.