(Closed) Met a guy on my bachelorette party

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 107
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

@Goinganon2013:  As for yeast infections, I had that the first 15 months of my relationship with Fiance, and I feel like it has permanently affected our sex life since we had little sex and I was shy about myself ‘down there’ and now it’s set a precedent and I am constantly worried about how I smell down there when we’re intimate even though I’ve been clear for 18 months now…

Anyway, I finally got rid of it by drastically limiting my sugar intake (tea/water instead of fruit juice, no candy snacks, plain yoghurt) , changing my (cotton of course) underwear twice a day so it’s dry down there,  no pads when I’m on my period as it makes things so moist, so just tampons and taking daily garlic supplements (garlic kills yeast). Good luck!!!

Post # 108
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Goinganon2013:  

Have you ever watched the movie Tempted by Tyler Perry. Very good movie to watch in a situation like this. 

Post # 109
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Goinganon2013:  Well, I’m from Europe as well and our culture is definitely more ‘open’ than the one you’ll find in the US – but these kinds of arrangements are on a couple by couple basis. Not the standard. 

Either way, I hope this is just a case of cold feet (because it does sound like that) and I hope you have as happy and as long a marriege as your parents. 

Best of luck. 

Post # 110
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

 

 

@This Time Round: +100

 Yep. Long term relationships are more than lust and sex. Having a deep connection with someone makes the lame day to day grocery and house decor seem fun. Sex will probably get dull sometime years down the road, looks fade and bodies age. And when that happens all you have is the comfort and joy from the company of your partner. If you dont have that… maybe you are with the wrong person.

Post # 111
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Goinganon2013:  Okay honestly, I think maybe a big draw was just having attention from a big, attractive guy. I’ve been with fi for about 4 years now and I gotta admit – I like when other guys give me attention at the bars when I’m out with my girlfriends, because it’s exciting! I feel like I’m still desired by other guys, and it’s a nice feeling, an ego boost. However, I would never act on it, but it is nice and exciting.

Now, I think what’s going on is that you were 1) drunk (beer goggles maybe?) 2) lack of sex in your relationship and 3) someone exciting and new. I think this might just be a case of pre-wedding jitters, you might be wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Just sit down and really think about what makes you love fi so much. In terms of sex, why not introduce things to keep it exciting? Role play? Toys? 

Best of luck to you – I hope you get all of your feelings sorted out!!

 

Post # 112
Member
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

You just liked the attention. You should probably tell your Fiance that and see if he can step it up and help you feel wanted again.

Post # 113
Bee
821 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

Hey, I’m glad you had a cool, intense experience at the club. Just leave it as that, and you can hold onto it as a neat thing that happened to you. But realize that you don’t know the guy and, really, as doggedly as he was pursuing someone clearly soon-to-be-married, he really is no paragon. It made you feel good, and it was hot. Now you know a few important things about what might get you going. So, you can learn a bit about what turns you on and take that to heart.

Maybe it surprises you, which is why the meeting seemed so meant to be– you’ve learned something new about yourself. This doesn’t mean your relationship with your Fiance is lacking, or that there is anything wrong with it. I firmly believe that one person cannot be ALL THINGS to someone. Perhaps your Fiance isn’t a Don Juan in the way that club guy was, but you have to acknowledge that this might be a good thing, too. Honestly, I think there’s nothing wrong with savoring the experience for what it was and for what it can teach you about yourself. Don’t be ashamed of taking pleasure from life, especially if you have a consensual agreement with your Fiance about being free with other people like that. However, don’t make it something it was not, either. 🙂

Post # 114
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This just sounds like “cold feet” and it seems like the experience has brought up a relationship issue that you both want to resolve, together. So say a mental “thanks” to the jerk that inspired you to improve your relationship, put on some warm socks, and enjoy the last month of your engagement!

Post # 116
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Okay. I am not justifying your feelings as obviously what happened is far from ideal and if I was your fiance I would be furious….but your fiance seems cool with it. To me that is strange! Maybe you liked the attention from the guy at the club because you feel that you are not getting enough attention from your Fiance – maybe if he was upset about what happened it would make you feel more wanted?

Post # 117
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@JenGirl:  this this this!!!!!

Thank you for putting this up!

Post # 118
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know the guy may have seemed magical, but imagine-waht kind of single guy would focus on the bachelorette for the night? A guy that clearly wants no strings attached sex from a girl on her last night of being single! Seriously, what kind of character would do that to a woman who is about to commit to her man to god

There is NOTHING wrong with your feelings, however, you need to listen to them. You are feeling sadness by having some guy touch you meaninglessly. It sounds like you have mixed feeligns about getting married, and maybe want some more experience as a single lady. Again, nothing wrong with that, but you shoudl listen to yourself. It seems like you want some more expereinces, maybe you should hold off on the wedding…

Post # 119
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I find it amusing that you think someone you met at a club for a few hours is everything you want.  I also find it amusing that you might think he would actually be jealous were he to see you and your husband out in the town and that this was somehow a spiritual experience.  Seriously, life is not a romance novel.  

I am glad for you that the note was gone and that you do not have his number.  You would probably ruin your relationship if you were to take this further.  What you did (had my H done it) would have already been the end of us, but you guys seem to have a more open relationship.  In any event, good luck and hope everything works well. 

Post # 120
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@This Time Round:  I guess I am the exception. I hated my first sexual experiences (I was coaxed into it before I was ready) and over time, actually developed a physical repulsion to my boyfriend because of it. I try not to re-create my early experiences.

Post # 121
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Goinganon2013:  You don’t really have an open relationship if no kissing or sex is allowed. What can you both do that you would eliminate?

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