- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
I’m having a bout of sympathy stress that I’m trying to help my fiance with and could use some advice. He has a set of four very capable, intelligent groomsmen, including his father (the best man) and yet he seems to have been left to plan his entire bachelor party! We live 2000 miles from where the party is being held (which is his hometown, where his father lives) and my sweetie is trying to plan the whole thing himself. It kind of breaks my heart that everyone is excited to attend, but no one is helping him. It is also frustrating to me because he is unavailable to help me with other wedding things because he has so much to do for this event. This should not be his problem, should it?
I’m worried that I missed an opportunity to head this off at the pass when his father, who has never been a Best Man (or at least not in the last 30 years), asked what his duties and responsibilities were in this role. We said we’d fill him in, but never really did it. My fiance has tried several times to push him a bit, ask for help, etc and it just doesn’t seem to be helping much. I’m tempted to send an email to his Dad, or to his groomsmen, or both, asking them to step up and give him a hand. But he’s told me his frustrations in confidence and I think he’d be pretty unhappy if I went behind his back and spoke to his guys about that (in fact, that sounds like something my mom would do that would drive me nuts).
So what do you think? Do I intervene at this point and send his Dad a detailed list of traditional Best Man duties? Do I just deal with the 800 other things I’m doing and not worry about it? Should I suggest a different, more direct way for him to handle it?