Microaggressions -what do you do when people insist on mispronouncing your name?

posted 4 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@VegasSukie:  If it makes you feel any better, I have a pretty normal (by North American/European standards) name and people still get it wrong sometimes.

Post # 4
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You are not being oversensitive, names are a big deal.

This doesn’t deal with your exact situation but you might find it useful, I <3 captain awkward:

 

#470, #471 and #472: Correcting Names

 

Post # 6
Member
9614 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@VegasSukie:   Oh my gosh, I used to have this same problem with an older lady who would come into my office; she had a mean personality.  She would call me by the wrong name every. single. time.  Even though my name is on my office door and name plate.  She could see fine and she could read fine.  I corrected her numerous times but she still refused to call me by my correct name (which is an easy name, so I feel bad for you), so I knew she was doing it on purpose for whatever reason. 

Finally, after a couple of YEARS of putting up with her I did this:  I asked her flat out (her name was Rowena).  I said, “Rowena, you know what my name is.  But you still keep calling me ____.  I want you to know if you keep doing it, from now on I am going to purposely butcher your name and called you Roweenie in front of everyone, every day, until you call me by my right name.  Ok?  How would you like that?”  She got so mad!  But she certainly got my name exactly right from that day on.  Haha.

Try butchering that guy’s name on purpose every time he missprounounces your name and see how he likes it.  🙂

Post # 7
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@VegasSukie: You’re not being oversensitive. Our names are part of our identity, and important to our sense of self.

One time at work I answered the phone with “this is ______” and the customer repeated an incorrect name. I said no it’s “____” he repeated another incorrect name and I corrected him again. Then he came back with “whatever I don’t care, it’s not important.” I was horribly offended (but of course I couldn’t say anything)–I mean, it’s my name.

If I was that offended by some random customer that I would probably never speak to again, I can only imagine what it’s like to have people you consider friends do that to you.

What do you say to them? Do you just correct the pronunciation? Maybe you could let them know that it really bothers you and that it’s important to be called by you correct name.

 

Post # 8
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@VegasSukie:  You are not blowing this over. I deal with this on a regular basis – both socially and professionaly. Once at work, I started wearing a “Hello my name is ***” sticker to the office until my boss got it. Personally, I just don’t respond unless people say, or try to say my name correctly. If they get huffy, you can just point out that that isn’t your name, so you don’t respond. Period. 

Post # 9
Member
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think they intend on being mean by not learning your name, but that still doesn’t change the way you feel, and it still hurts.

I always felt bad for my uncle. He’s Greek and his first name is actually pretty easy to pronounce because you say it just like it looks. He’s been in this country for over 35 years, and people still don’t know how to pronounce his first name, so they call him “taco” because it is the most similar English word to his name.

Post # 10
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Sunfire:  that is a fantastic story, and one I’m putting in my pocket just in case I ever need it!!!

Post # 12
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

I feel you. I got so tired of people mispronouncing my name – I made up a nickname that’s absolutely impossible for them to mispronounce; it upset my family for a bit but now my real name is just for my mother (my family has it’s own nickname for me in general) and my SO.

Now I choose who even gets the chance to say my name and if they flub it off nonchalantly without even trying to get it right, the privileged is revoked.

Post # 14
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i get SUPER pissed when people get my  name wrong, especially after i correct them repeatedly. if i get someone’s name wrong, i make a conscious effort to remember how to say it correctly so i don’t embarrass myself or make them feel like i don’t care.

my name IS very unusual (it’s bethaney without the ‘b’, pronounced like ‘bethaney’ but without the ‘b’ sound lol obviously) yet i still get anthony, stephanie, athena, ethan-ee…it’s VERY VERY annoying when people don’t at least try to get it right, especially after i correct them.

names are so important. 

Post # 16
Member
3783 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@VegasSukie:  I can be “snarky” when I want to be. If I were you, the next time she mispronounced my name I’d say, “Doctors should be able to listen to their patients. I imagine you have a pretty tough time with that since you can’t even be bothered to pronounce my name right after I’ve told you several times the proper way to say it. I can’t imagine your patient retention rate is very high since you’re so dismissive of things so simple as the pronunciation of one’s name. How IS your practice, by the way?”

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