(Closed) Mid-Reception and post-wedding anxiety.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Firsly, I am so sorry you had such a tough time. I think it’s completely normal to find the day at least somewhat stressful, even if you maybe you found it more stressful than some others. The day is behind you, however, and it cannot be changed, and of course you know that dwelling on the negatives will never make you feel better. I know it’s easier said than done though. It sounds like there were still a lot of positive aspects to the day, not least the fact that you celebrated your love and commitment to your partner in front of friends and family.

I am sure it is true that your guests enjoyed the day and were happy to see you get married. At the end of the day, these are presumably people who care about you and love you just the way you are. I am sure nobody is judging you or thinking badly of you, even if you feel you didn’t behave exactly in the expected why. Unless you did something truly horrendous to someone else, I really doubt anybody is going to think badly of you. At the very most it would be the observation that you seemed pretty stressed at certain points, and nothing more. That’s not so bad. It shouldn’t change what they think about you as a person.

Look at your photos and think of the happiness that was there that day, the fact that your husband was there with you to celebrate your love, and no it didn’t go smoothly or without stress, but it was still a part of you marrying each other in front of those who love you. Nothing will change that. It marked the transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to husband/wife. Try to look at the bad stuff in a kind of way where you think, “Man, that was pretty crappy in parts, but thank goodness I won’t have to face that again and that I have the rest of my life to spend with my husband.” Focus on the good, realize that the bad is not as bad as you think, know that nobody actually thinks badly of you, and look to the future!

 

Post # 4
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you should focus on the things that went well. And take some time to yourself! Whenever I’m stressed, I need to focus on something else. So maybe put away the pictures for a little bit. Another idea would be to write about your wedding (like this) and write about all of the positives and make it a happy story, downplaying your anxiety. Then read it when you feel stressed out, that way you have positive memories being reinforced and you’re not paying attention to the negative, stressed ones. And then look at the pictures and focus on the positives. 

Post # 5
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are not alone. I know that I will feel this way at the wedding, especially if I plan myself and end up being in charge. I didn’t even really enjoy being a bridesmaid, can’t imagine being a bride and how hard that will be!

For now, I would put aside the pictures, memories, videos, etc. I would focus on two things,

one, you are married to a great guy (yay!)

two, everyone else had a good time

Anytime you try to think about the wedding or it creeps into your thoughts, distract yourself! Don’t go there. Don’t start getting upset and go down that road. Get a mental image that calms you (fuzzy kittens, waves lapping on the beach) close your eyes and remember these images.

Hopefully in a year or do, the painfulness will have faded and you can see your pretty pictures. 

Post # 6
Member
5764 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

If your anxiety is this intense, I think a visit to the doctor is in order.  I hate to think of you suffering so much with a problem that is treatable.

I say this as one who suffers from an extreme anxiety disorder.  So extreme, evidently, it is the cause of my major clinical depression.  The right combo of therapy and meds are working

I am sorry you had to go thru this.

Btw, I so know that feeling of everyone being on my back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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