(Closed) Mid-twenties life crisis!

posted 3 years ago in College
Post # 31
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re not good at something if you repeatedly fail all the classes in that subject. 

Post # 32
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Drop out. You procrastinate too much and will never success in this field. Find entry level job and stick with it. Just don’t take it for one day a week *eye roll*.

Post # 33
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

Jacqui90:  

You can talk to all the specialists in the world. If you aren’t willing to buckle down and put in the necessary effort to complete your goals, consulting professionals isn’t going to help you make a change. 

I think you need to stop going to school, get a job, save up money for an apartment and move out. You will have no choice but to become responsible when you have to pay for everything yourself. 

Post # 34
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

[content moderated for snark/personal attack]

Post # 35
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

What on earth made you think you were good at accounting? A class you took five years ago? I would think all the failure since then would have made you think otherwise, but maybe I’m crazy…

Post # 36
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

Jacqui90:  Why do you want to get into accounting? The pay is good, as you said, but it doesn’t seem like you have the skills (academic or personal) to succeed in that field. That’s not an insult. I work in accounting right now and it’s very demanding and time-intensive, and nothing you’ve written about yourself and your skill set seems like a fit for that career. If you “suck at studying” for a high stress numbers-based position, you’re not going to magically be really good at that material when put into practice on the job. 

You will get little or no recognition for your work until something goes wrong–and then it’s all your fault and you better fix it immediately. Procrastination and mistakes have consequences beyond making you feel bad about yourself: employees will not get paid if you don’t process payroll on time, services will be cut off due to late bill payments, and clients will not thank you and congratulate you on a job well done when you have to call them about overdue invoices they need to pay. Sloppy bookkeeping is a nightmare in itself. It’s a high stress field with a very narrow margin for error. 

I think you really need to find a paying job–reception or office assistant would be useful, and give you a taste of the organizational and time management skills you would need. Volunteer work is nice but doesn’t provide you with a pay history or the same kind of relevant experience. You’re not doing yourself any favors by staying fixated on a job you’re apparently not qualified or cut out for while not making any changes to improve your skills.

Post # 37
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

You lost me at “procrastination issues.” I can’t hand out any sympathy for that…

Post # 38
Member
47204 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There are millions of us who gave up our high school “dream career” because we realized it was totally unrealistic for us. I wanted to be a teacher in high school. After I was a single parent and contemplating further education to be able to support myself and my children, I realized that I  didn’t have the patience to deal with children all day, then come home to my own children. I changed my career goals.

I suggest you put school aside for the time being. Your mental health and procrastination are working against you. Bipolar can be controlled with medication, but that is not the extent of your problems. I believe you have said yourself that you are lazy, have anxiety and borderline personality disorder.

Get out a get a paying job. I don’t care if that is in retail, fast food, housekeeping at a hotel. Pretend you don’t have parents who are still supporting you and stand on your own two feet. If you feel a sense of accomplishment from volunteering once every two weeks, imagine how good you will feel if you work 5 days a week.

You may need to alter your whole vision of your life. You may never have a professional job, work in a nice office, but you can have a job, support yourself, develp soome pride and self-esteem.

Jacqui, you need to take charge of you and your life. Your parents are not always going to be there for you. Can you imagine the burden they feel and worries they have, about a mid twenties daughter who can’t look after herself, becomig a mid fifties daughter who can’t look after herself?

Post # 39
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I also have had anxiety and stress issues that led to me taking time off from studying for my bachelors degree. Have you ever had a job in accounting? I was lucky enough to get a receptionist position at a place that did on the job training and I worked my way up to being the assistant CFO. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings or tell you that you shouldn’t follow your dreams but, accounting work is so stressful! That’s why I stopped doing it. It pays great but it demands super long work hours. There were times when I would be at work several hours after everyone else went home. That being said, if it’s really what you want, then what I recommend is taking a break from the University to get your anxiety under control better and go find a place that will allow you to learn on the job. You may even have to volunteer. However, I think you need to experience it to know if it’s really for you. If you find that it is then once you are able to manage your anxiety and procrastination better, that’s when you should return to school. Have you considered online classes? I found that I work much better in an online setting than on campus. It even helped me to stop my procrastination issues. I think because I’m able to work in my own environment. Good luck! 

Post # 40
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2016

ladycirtolthiel:  Procrastination can be a symptom associated with severe anxiety. Anxiety is debilitating. Its not something that people just decide to have, its an imbalance of neurotransmitters/hormones. There’s a medical cause. Its not just laziness. Please educate yourself on the subject. 

Post # 41
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The key here is just get a job.  JUST GET. A. JOB. Any job.  Doing anything.  The vast majority of people I know had no idea what they wanted to do coming out of college, myself included (I also have an English degree).  

What I DID know is that I wanted to be on my own, doing my own thing.  I moved 8 hours away from home and took a job that really taught me a lot.  I only stayed for 2 years, moved again, went back to school, quit school, moved to a big city, got a job working in a bookstore just to have a job, kept applying to other stuff, got a different job, etc.  This is normal.  Lots of people do this.  And the key I have found is connections.  Talk to everyone you know about the fact that you want a job, and eventually something will come along, and that will lead to something else, etc.

You are too old to be living at home, depending on your parents, waiting for life to start.  Just start it already!!!  Get a fucking full-time job, get married, and start your life already.  Stop making excuses about why you can’t do it.

Post # 42
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t start online classes.  If anything, you need even more discipline for those as it’s very easy to get behind, and never catch up when there aren’t scheduled classes to attend.  I also found them to be more busy work to make up for the lack of class discussion. 

I agree with the suggestions that you should get a full-time job.  I have bad anxiety too, and I’m also a procrastinator and just plain lazy sometimes and a routine is essential.  Once a week is not enough.  You need to do it every day.  Any job – work in a bookstore or a library, tutor kids.  Anything.  You won’t figure out what you want to do until you have some experience in the world. 

Post # 43
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am an accountant and I can tell you my day to day job is much more like my later coursework than my first Principles of Accounting course.  Also, the hours sometime sucks and sure my salary is good but if I ever calculate how much I make per hours based on the hours I work its not very good.  If you are easily stressed and a proctrastinator I would probably advise against going into accounting.

I’ll give you the same advice I gave my younger brother:  Get your hands on a copy of the book Discover What You’re Best at by Linda Gale.  This book has many multiple choice test sections and will identify what areas you excel at and give you recommendations on careers based on your results.  The book’s premise is that people overall enjoy doing things that come easily to them. 

Now if you are really serious about accounting/finance I would say first thing is to get any job that you can.  Then impress your supervisor by showing up with a good attitude, on time, and eager to learn and express to them that you are interested in accounting and finance and one day they may begin cross training you.  At worst they don’t cross train you but you have a solid job history, which is important when trying to get better and better jobs down the line.

Post # 44
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh and just get grounded with a job and quit spinning your wheels in school until you know what you are doing. 

Post # 45
Member
10028 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Jacqui90:  You’re still young; keep that in mind and keep reading.

You’re missing out on all the fun parts of being an adult.  From an outsider’s perspective it seems as if your parents are keeping you in perpetual dependent childhood for their own mysterious reasons.  A lot of posters are pointing out how much you’re damaging your parents by continuing to live with them well into adulthood, but I feel they’re damaging you by keeping you safe/smothered in a cocoon of sloth that won’t allow you to grow into a mature adult on your own.

If you once got a taste of real adult freedom you’d be an entirely new creature. 

Life can be fun if you stop focusing on all the negativity you’ve got going on and actually make up your mind to do something constructive with your life.  And then actually take steps to do it.  Counseling is just talking, meaningless words, unless you use them to take action and make changes in your life.  It’s worthless if all you do is talk, talk, talk and wander in circles.  You’re missing out on life but it doesn’t have to stay that way. 

Life is wonderful if you let it be wonderful.  Stop making excuses and make a plan to break free of your parents’ stranglehold on your future maturity.  Do it before it becomes too late and you’re not young any more.

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