Middle School Students Planning A Shower

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
4026 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Since it’s a Friday after school I highly doubt they will all want to stay after school anyway but I would guess you probably do have to invite them all.. I think it’s a very cute idea and I think it will be fun. Does he know about it? If it’s a surprise I would have your supervisor email her ahead of time saying there is a mandatory meeting in the room to make sure she is planning to go there.. Good luck with the party! 

Post # 3
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

I can’t decide whether I think this is cute or creepy. How old are middle school students? 

Personally I find the advice books odd, being that they’re unmarried children. I also find the “who knows her better” games odd. I think sticking with making toilet paper gowns on each other, and other fun nonsense games would be best. You could DIY up some ‘bouquets’ and do a bouquet toss (in teams, who can throw the furtherest), maybe a silly vow writing game.

I think you really need to work out who wants to come and who doesn’t, and since it’s kids planning for the teacher I wouldn’t exclude the boys. But you need a realistic idea of how many kids want to be a part of this. If you’re going to ask for money, all students attending should pay, not just the ‘core group’ paying for the lot. And how do their parents feel about staying after school to throw a bridal shower for their teacher? 

Post # 4
472 posts
Helper bee

Yeah this is kind of weird. I’m of the camp that teachers should keep their personal lives separate from their students. The asking for money from their parents is also very weird. 

Post # 5
9044 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

scrabbleandllamas :  Whilst I think the sentiment is nice, I think the actual reality is not great. I agree with pp that the advice book and who knows best game is an odd and some what inappropriate thing for students, especially young students, to do.  I also think a gift giving event like a shower is inappropriate for students to be invloved with. 

Here are possible problems that I see-

1. If parents do not want to contribute does that exclude their child? And if not won’t those parents that do contribute feel a bit funny about it?

2. What if students/their parents feel compelled, since it is a shower, to buy a gift? What about those that don’t think about that or can’t afford it? How will the bride feel if Mr & Mrs Smith, Jane Smith’s parents, buy a kitchen aide mixer as a present? I know that would make me feel super uncomfortable.

3. What if the boys feel excluded? Like this is some extra treat just for the females.

I think you should just have a good luck for your big day party that everyone can attend and there is no obligation for presents or games geared to certain sexes.

Post # 6
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m a high school teacher and I just can’t fathom this. It’s a cute enough idea in theory, and something I can imagine a handful of kids are really jazzed to do, but I think just cupcakes and a keepsake book where kids can write any messages (not just advice) would be significantly more appropriate.

Post # 7
411 posts
Helper bee

What about having a significantly scaled back event, maybe just that core group that is interested in planning as the only guests?

Post # 7
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

I agree with PPs. I’m a middle school teacher, and I try my best to keep my personal life private. Some of my kids know I’m engaged/getting married this summer, but if they said they wanted to throw me a shower, I would politely decline. Just thinking about partying with my 12-year-old students makes me feel weird.

If you and your kids really want to do this, I agree with a PP that you should keep it to the kids making a cake/cupcakes and writing messages to her (like a yearbook). I’d just bring some soda/juice, cups, plates, and forks. Make the event short (no longer than an hour). I can’t even think of a game that would be appropriate to play with middle schoolers that could also be wedding-related…

Post # 8
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

For a game, you could have them play the game where you make a wedding dress/veil out of a roll of toilet paper and tape.  

I have a 7th grader and this is a little weird to me. But at the same time I guess its harmless. One of my daughter’s teachers is getting married this June and although she likes the teacher, I can’t imagine she would ever attend a shower for her.

Post # 11
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m a teacher and I always always always err on the side of caution with personal business like this…even if the school climate is more lax, even if the school is a community.  I know too many teachers who have been burned because of getting too close with students and/or families in their school  My school is small and absolutely a tight-knit community, but I still distance myself.  I even bent my “no parents or students on Facebook” rule and accepted a few parents’ friend requests last year (other teachers have dozens of parents so I can’t use the “it’s against policy” excuse).  Now my social media is locked down pretty tightly so no one can find me…

The thing is as a teacher you HAVE to be careful.  Things can be misconstrued and often are.  I get it, you want to to help the students celebrate their teacher’s upcoming wedding…but don’t make this bigger than it has to be.  Maybe have an “open house” for an hour where students who want to stop by can, and they sign a book of well-wishes.  Have cake and punch, MAYBE a game.

Post # 12
533 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it is a good idea the “who knows her better” game. 7th graders can be inappropriate and that is just inviting some awkward statements (especially from the boys who think its funny or cool to make sex-like jokes). I agree with the team competition games like make a dress, maybe a cupcake decorating game, bouquet toss is such a cute idea, you could do a pin the ring/veil/boutineer on a picture of the bride or groom. Instead of a large book with marriage advice from people who haven’t had a relationship before, maybe a large card that the kids can sign, or a “what makes you a great person” book where they compliment the teacher. Another game could be to list wedding or bride things in pop culture – like a jeopardy game. You could have bride/groom pairs like prince charming and cinderalla or something similar. It’s a cute idea, just a little tweaking may be helpful.

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