Post # 1
Hey everyone, quick question and honest responses please!
I’m 25, FI is 28. We went over to his parent’s house for dinner one night, normal, nothing special, and his mom gave him some packs of new underwear that she had “picked up for him” at the store. I was uncomfortable, he was uncomfortable, and she was just like totally normal.
I would NEVER complain because it’s not that big of a deal but REALLY, that’s weird, right? I mean, he’s not 19 and in college, he’s 28 and we live together..
Is that normal?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
yay, free underwear! I don’t think it’s that weird, she still wants to feel like she takes care of him
Post # 4
Normal from the perspective of a mother? Yep! I think most parents will always see their offspring as a child, and it can be tricky not doing everything for them anymore.
Buying him new underwear and presenting it to him in front of you seems more like marking her territory than babying him though! Does she do things like this often?
Post # 5
i would probably be a little mad if it were me. my FMIL is a saint, but I get offended when she does things that make it seem like I cant care for FI myself. she tells me to put his leftover food in a tupperware container…like DUH. lol.
its this maternal instint and it will never go away…and i cant be rude and tell her that. i would try to shrug it off. in the end its weird and uncomfortable, but is it worth hurting her feelings?
Post # 6
@FutureMRS3lastnames: my FMIL always bought my FI underpants for xmas up til this year. It’s especially funny because she has always bought him a size too small and they cramp his style (if you know what I mean), but he’s always felt uncomfortable saying anything, so he just either doesn’t wear them or throws them out. Well, I’m a little more of a, um, communicator than the rest of his family and I said something. No undies for xmas this year. Bizarre problem solved 😉 (my fiance would kill me if he saw this post…)
Post # 7
Uhhhh, my Mom just brought a huge bag of Cadbury eggs, a package of undershirts for me and a slew of underwear for Mr. 99 from Sam’s to my office. She knew I was trying to get by there and saved me a trip. It’s just underwear..not a gross of condoms or something.
Post # 8
@FutureMRS3lastnames: I’m sure she feels like it’s normal. I’m sure it’s nothing weird lol. But it is just weird because he is grown and u all live together
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I know guys in their 30s that still let their moms buy their underwear and socks. Once you are engaged or married you get the job because some guys would rather wear old, stained holey undies than buy them for themselves. My FI hasn’t bought undies in the 3 years we’ve been together.
Post # 10
@FutureMRS3lastnames: Absolutely normal. Another way of looking at it is that she felt comfortable presenting the underwear in front of you. I see it as acceptance of you as part of the inner family.
Honestly, I have bought underwear for my FSIL because I know he likes Calvin Kline and I found some on special. Both he and my daughter were really happy because it was, as said by @MeiFrancis: Free Underwear.
Post # 11
My FMIL bought my SO a pair of boxers with little snowmen on them a few years ago. It was actually really cute… and made her seem more human at the same time 🙂
Post # 12
Eh…it wouldn’t bother me. Now if MY mom bought underwear for me…THAT would freak me out. But underwear for a guy, well it’s sold in packs, and most guys don’t care what it looks like as long as it’s their size and preferred type..ie: boxers, boxer-briefs etc.
I’m an only child, and my mom will buy things like socks for me every once in a while, if she sees them on sale. She knows what kind I like, and she’s just being “Mom” about it.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be too freaked out about it, one thing less y’all have to buy
Post # 13
That’s so funny, ladies! See, I can totally see why she would do it, I mean she took care of him all of his life and that urge doesn’t just go away now that he lives with me, it’s just, i don’t know, weird to me. Like @FutureDrZ: said, honestly, does she think that I cannot buy underwear for my own fiance or even better HE can’t buy underwear himself? It’s not like Christmas, it’s just, she was at the store and thought, “Oh, I should buy my 28 year old son undies when it’s not Christmas or any other holiday and he didn’t ask for them at all!” LOL Maybe this is just me wanting to mark MY territory? 🙂
Post # 14
My grandparents are always buying me clothes and stuff and just giving them to me without thinking anything of it. I LOVE it… saves us money lol. Since my husband and I got married they buy him stuff too… socks, hats, shirts. I just think it’s super nice of them and not strange at all they are just trying to help and show they care. My grandmother even bought my DH some funny tuxedo boxers for our wedding LOL.
Oh yeah and I just remembered every single time we visit my DH’s mom she has something for him… usually a sweater she made but sometimes underwear, a jacket, movies, books… I think it’s sweet.
Post # 15
lol, dont worry, im VERY protective over my FI, and i mark my terrority over him often lol.
I want my FI to know that I am a good wife, and that I will be able to be there for him, but how can I show everyone that I am able to do that when my FMIL doesn’t think I can handle leftovers?!!?! AHHHH..
the worst part is they are always just ‘trying to help!’ and therefore you dont have a real reason to complain outloud to anyone.
lol..its so funny and frustrating at the same time 🙂
Post # 16
You’ve got the right attitude!, laugh it off, give her a free pass for caring. Will it matter in 5 years who bought them? Thank her and ask her where the best bargains are for those kinds of things….like you’re asking her advice….she’ll love your forever!