(Closed) mil died

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

No, you’re not a big cry baby. You just had a family member die – yes, in laws are family too! I’m so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

Post # 4
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry. *hugs*

Post # 5
70 posts
Worker bee

I lost my precious Mother-In-Law in a car accident almost 2 years ago. I understand your pain. I tried being strong for my husband, but the fact remained-I loved her, too, and was grieving. My condolences to your family.

Post # 6
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sorry! It’s OK to cry, just let it out. *hugs*

Post # 7
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so sorry for your and his loss. No loss is easy.  Do the best you can, be a support, but don’t be afraid to be sad too.  For me, one look at my FH close to tears can put me in tears (it doesn’t happen often, but his gma passed away a few months ago).  And always remember, that it doesn’t go away, and honestly, doesn’t really fade.  That sadness will keep coming up at random times, probably for both of you.  Just remember, it’s okay to grieve now, in 1 month, in six months, in 5 years.. or whenever it hits you or your hubby.  HUGS to both of you!

Post # 8
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@asianyoushi:  Oh I’m so so sorry! Don’t feel like you have to “be strong”. I’m going to tell you a story my dad always told me:

His favorite aunt was rushed to the hospital but Dad was stuck out of town and didn’t make it until the evening. All day people had “been strong” for his cousin, who was losing her only parent. When dad got to the hospital, his cousin sat stone faced in the corner. Dad went to his aunt & just lost it. His own father had passed a few months before and the emotion of facing his aunt’s death was just too much for him. He cried and cried at her bedside. His cousin came over and cried with him. Later, she told dad that she had felt like she was about to have a panic attack all day, but when dad came in & cried it was like she had permission to cry, too. She was finally able to let go & face the pain. 

Your husband needs you, but give yourself permission to be sad with him. As someone who has lost their mother, I can tell you it’s really good to know other people loved her and miss her too. 

Post # 9
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves

@asianyoushi:  I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how, among everything that is happening, it can be difficult to “find your place”.

Last january when my husband’s grandma died I spent the days very confused as to how to act, I wanted to be strong for everyone, especially since I am not a blood relative. I felt I had to be the rock for everyone, but the truth is I was crushed, I had known this lady for almost 8 years and created a great relationship with her, I lost someone too, and still, I felt it was wrong to let it out and just cry, because I am not a “blood relative”.

Truth is, you can be your husband’s rock and still cry, be there for him, cry with him. He might not be a cryer and it might be helpful to have someone who does cry next to him, make sure he knows he can talk to you even if you are crying and allow yourselves to be sad together.

(Big HUG)

Post # 10
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m so sorry. (hugs)

My fiance’s dad died suddenly (and on Xmas) after we’d only been dating for 8 months. It was ROUGH.

My fiance was a mess and I tried really hard to be strong but sometimes we just cried together. 

It was really hard and scary a lot of times, especially because we had just started dating so we were still kind of getting to know each other. But going through something rough like this only strengthened our relationship (and made other tough times a little easier to deal with in the future).

If you’re already married, you at least know that neither one of you is going any where. Just try to be as strong as possible. Sometimes that means crying and being upset WITH him. Other times it means trying to cheer him up or support him while you’re maintaining strength. It’ll go back and forth. Just try and take one day at a time and let you husband know you’re there for him when he needs you, but also acknowledge that sometimes he might need time to himself.

It’s a hard balance but it will get better, slowly.

(hugs again)














Post # 12
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

so sorry, hun!!! i’m sure your love and support are very helpful to Fiance right now. so hard. hang in there!!

Post # 13
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.  I understand how you feel.  My Fiance lost an uncle and his grandma (whom he was very close to) shortly before we got engaged, and his mother passed away last summer. 

Even if you cry, the important thing is that you’re there for him.  Being strong doesn’t mean not crying, it means you keep going even though you cry and even though it’s difficult.

Post # 14
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Be easy on yourself and do what you can for your husband. Take adequate time to grieve and do not rush things.

Post # 15
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

my condolences…stay strong for him

Post # 16
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am very sorry for your loss! Such a hard time for you and your husband!

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