(Closed) MIL doesn't show must interest in my baby, how to deal…

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

@SamanthaLovesJames:  No,it isn’t common and I think it’s terrible. My IL’s completely doted on the first Grandchild and ignored the others as well (even tho they would deny it), and I allowed it to happen for just about 10 years when we’d finally had enough. They pulled the same kind of thing….bringing toys for just one GC when there were 2 or more in the same room. The favoritism was blatant and very upsetting, so we chose to limit visits with them. It didn’t seem to matter much and everyone was much happier. Mine got plenty of attention and love from my parents anyway, and never missed what they never had from the other side.

I don’t think there’s any acceptable excuse for ignoring children. They’re (your IL’s) the ones who will lose out.

Post # 18
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsWinTraining2014:  haha your other grandma sounds Cool!!

 

My SIL’s Family in Law don’t treat her sons (my nephews) the same… They do not sleep over their house anymore because my SIL found out they would hit them if they misbehaved (HELLOO they are kids!)… on the other hand… my SIL parents (my Mother-In-Law and FIL) treat my nephews very good… I love the relationship they have and hope my children will too. They usually call my Mother-In-Law on friday to see what she’s doing and often sleepover.

I think you should build your life with those that want to share it with you…

Post # 19
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@SamanthaLovesJames:  On the other end of the spectrum, my incredibly irresponsible, immature Future Mother-In-Law is convinced that she’s going to be allowed to “babysit and take the kid to disneyland”.. she’s got another thing coming o.O

Post # 20
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh boy – I can see this happening to me. My Future Mother-In-Law already has 3 grandchildren from her middle daughter and youngest son. She use to ask us, “When are you getting married, don’t you want children?” We haven’t heard a peep from her in years. I am sure our children (if we have them) will be way down on the totem poll in her mind. She probably already harbors resentment for us waiting to get married. My fiance is her oldest son, so things have not played out in the order she wanted. Oh well – two can play that game, if she decides to play. Because my family (which is 4 hours away) will be more than happy to spoil our child. When they are only 30 minutes away.

Post # 21
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way Frown

I agree with others though, there does seem to be (in general) more of interest/connection between grandmas and their own daughters babies. Maybe it has something to do with having have raised their daughters and now seeing them do the same with their children?  

Perhaps next time you see Mother-In-Law you could ask if she wants to hold your baby? She may be feeling like she is intruding or something.  

 

Post # 22
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think 2 weeks is too short of a time to make any conclusions. Hopefully you’re just being oversensitive. 🙁 It wouldn’t be right for her to play favorites with her grandchildren. I would bring it up with your husband, and just have him pay attention if he notices it too.

Post # 23
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@SamanthaLovesJames:  Grandparents often have favourites. She may just be more interested in her other granddaughter and since the two little girls are so close in age your child doesn’t get much attention. 

There is really not much you can do about it.

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