(Closed) MIL drama – Worried I’m being a bad DIL – Long Vent Sorry!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If she has land worth millions of dollars why is she asking you for money?!?!? No, no, no! Tell her she can move in with you guys and you will charge her a reasonable rent.

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

No, she either needs to sell the land or get a job. Even if you were to give her money what happens when that runs out? Will she come back for more?

Now is the time to buy a house if you can afford it.

 

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I say buy the house, its better for YOU in the long run. Now that you have him and im presuming (but might be wrong) that you will be starting a family you need the house more than she needs the money. If you have the money to go buy a house now is definately the time to do it. If she is talking about needing money tell her she can move in (under certain conditions) and pay YOU rent or she can sell the land which will support her for the next few decades. You can also tell her to sell some of her luxury cars which I am sure will bring her in some cash. It is NOT your fault that she brought this apon herself. If he owes any back rent then I suggest maybe giving her that much if it doesnt totally cut into your house budget.

I say think of yourself first, then her. She had her chance to live with that money for a while, she blew it. Not your fault

Sorry if I sounded harsh

Post # 6
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with all said above she should sell her land or at least part of it to support herself she seems very selfish…

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow, sorry you are going through this stuff. My husband’s mother is an alcoholic, and I have no qualms about telling hubs how I feel about her, cuz he feels the same way. Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to put toxic people out of your life. If that is not an option for you guys, i think that boundaries really need to be set.  I do not think its right that his mother expects her son to give her part of his inheritance, just so she can continue to be lazy and live a life of luxury without working for it.  He needs to realize that you are his family now, and any choice to be made with that large sum of money needs to be mutually agreed upon. it doesn’t sound like she has gone out of her way to help you guys, so my feeling is she doesn’t deserve to have the money, especially when she made him pay rent when he was broke!

Post # 9
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Why is the world does your husband feel guilty??? She has always had money, and never helped him out, she made him pay rent when he didn’t have any money at all!!! She is greedy and lazy, and he should not help her fund her lifestyle

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

He doesn’t have to turn his back on her, just set boundaries and stick to them.  Yeah, no nannies when he was growing up, she was pretty high functioning back then, but has gotten out of control lately. We haven’t seen the Christmas right after our wedding because of this

Post # 12
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Give her the money for now, set a pay back date, charge interest and hold that land as collateral. the end. 

Post # 13
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

say no

Post # 14
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Talk to a family and financial counselor. Your husband should not be guilt tripped when your Mother-In-Law is obviously such a greedy self-centered person.

Post # 15
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

wow! im sorry, im all for family – its the most important thing in my life and i would drop anything or do anything to help any one of them – but they also dont treat me like that. its one thing to offer for help, but another to be told you HAVE to help.

what has she done for you? nothing, so what do you do for her? nothing.

what does she need the money for anyway? she is sittin on 3 mil.

sounds to me like she just wants part of his inheritance…whether she needs it or not and she is clearly holding on to the one thing she has left in her life, her son. But isn’t showing the love a mother should show her son.

i would want to smack her and say wake up and start acting right before you have no one left in your life.

i seriously dont think my parents would even ask for money if they needed it, they would put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine until of of us kids drags it out of them…

 

Post # 16
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

No. Just no. Don’t give her the $. If she insists, make it very clear that it’s HIS inheritence, and is going to a house. Stand firm. That’s just nuts. Good luck!

The topic ‘MIL drama – Worried I’m being a bad DIL – Long Vent Sorry!!’ is closed to new replies.

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