- Water Melon
- 7 months ago
- Wedding: February 2012
Regular bee going anon. I know I’m going to get lots of “you have a husband problem” and “you need to go no-contact” responses here. Just need to vent. Sorry, this will be long.
-D.H and I met 7 years ago. Married for 2 years. He lived with his mom, sister, and grandma when we met. He was turning 23 and hadn’t lived on his own, yet. He told me that his mom was always very negative when he told her about plans to move out. She told him if he tried, he would fail and should just stay home. So, he did.
-We got our own place, maybe 1/2 mile away from his family, after probably 1.5 or 2 years into dating. She wasn’t happy. We were literally around the corner. We stopped by all the time, almost daily. Came over to drop off groceries, cut the grass, etc. She never came to our house even though we were 1 min away. She always made it clear that I took her baby away.
-We have helped his family a lot financially. He had two credit cards that she maxed out and he co-signed on her car. More than a few missed payments and she doesn’t care that she has negatively affected his credit. There are always excuses and she acts like he owes her financially because she raised him. Thousands have disappeared to gambling. I have given her money several times for groceries when money was going to gambling. Her boyfriend doesn’t know about any of this. She always comes to us. All of this is infuriating and just keeps happening.
-We bought a house about 20 mins away almost 3 yrs ago. She acted like we were moving across the country. I was taking her baby further away. She still never visits, we are always expected to go see her. But she regularly drives 45 mins to the casino.
-D.H’s gma passed away 2 years ago. Since then, his mom has become increasingly touchy feely with D.H. She always kisses now (face/cheek/head) when hugging hi and bye, hangs on him, calls him baby, slaps/grabs his butt, walks with her arm looped in his, etc. I notice it happening more and more. Especially the butt thing. WTF? When I say something to D.H about it, he acts like he doesn’t realize she’s doing it.
-Another thing that is the most recent…I’m planning D.H’s 30th bday party. It’s a surprise and there’s a per-person cost. I planned to invite only immediate family and close friends (20-25 people max). Sent my list to her to make sure I didn’t miss anyone important. She doubled the list and I told her these people weren’t important/close to D.H, I’m trying to stick to a certain budget, etc. She said “but I’m close to them, I want them invited.” I told her I want to invite his friends, not random second cousins that he doesn’t care to see. She ignores me. Now I’m waiting for some “no’s” before I can send invites to his friends because I can’t afford all of these people if they say yes. She says she’ll help pay, but just asked S.I.L to borrow money today.
-When confronted, she plays victim, poor me, both my babies left me, etc, etc, etc…
-She told me “you know I’ve been a half decent mother in law, you know there are some monster in laws out there”….ummm….ok.
Right now, the bday planning is really driving me crazy. And the butt grabbing. Just needed to vent. I know going no-contact will be suggested, but that’s not going to happen.