Post # 16
another thought is you guys pioneered everything. They had no other experience with their children in serious relationships, getting married, moving in together. Unfortunately, parents make a lot of mistakes the first time around. I was the oldest in my family with my siblings and cousins. I remember being soooo angry that they would criticize me for things they didn’t even bat an eyelash when my brothers or cousins did the same thing.
I guarantee that your Brother-In-Law and sister will not have the same obstacles you and your DH did. You broke in the parents lol. It’s frustrating and feels like a double standard (because it is) but there is nothing you can do about it. You are married now so the only thing you can do is let it go.
Post # 17
Based on your other post, I kind of think she is doing it on purpose because I can’t imagine someone being that rude. As pay back you know! At least your DH is on your side so you know you are not imagining things.
Next time, just agree with her: “Aren’t you so lucky I had a sister for your other son? I knew Amy would be perfect for Mike because she is just so amazing. We were raised to be great partners in our family”.
But I’m petty so…
Post # 18
Huge internet hugs to you! <3 I teared up reading this, it really struck a chord with me. I kind of know how you feel – my little sister is a tall, skinny, beautiful girl, and growing up people made it very clear that she was by far the more attractive sister. It was hard not to be hurt, jealous, or resentful.
It’s frustrating because there really isn’t anything to do about it, just know that your husband and sisters and family love you (and I’m sure your Mother-In-Law loves you too in her own way, even if she doesn’t show it well).
This is petty, but you can get your payback when you have kids: go on and on to Mother-In-Law about how great a grandmother your own mother is, and never compliment Mother-In-Law for anything (just kidding! be the bigger person)
Post # 19
DING DING DING. As soon as you said a huge sports family, It clicked. If even Mother-In-Law is a HUGE sports fan and so is your sister? MAYBE She sees herself in your little sister and THAT is why she thinks more highly of that relationship. Especially if you’re American, I thought Canadians took hockey seriously….it’s NOTHING compared to the sports commradery in the US.
Brush it off. You’ll have to. THAT or produce them some grandkids first. 😉 That might help.
Post # 20
I feel this way all the time with my FIL’s. I always had to sneak around and tiptope around them because Future Father-In-Law didn’t like that we were sleeping together before marriage. Then here comes sally and Future Brother-In-Law and it’s okay for her to walk around the house in just a tshirt and Future Father-In-Law couldn’t give a damn. Then there’s Future Mother-In-Law who will stand up for Future Brother-In-Law GF’s when they are clearly lying to her face but I could tell her the truth and she’d question me until I shoved the proof in her face. She is more than okay talking negative about me to other people but when it comes to FBIL’s new gf, she will defend any negative remark aimed at her even if it was unintentional or just a fact. And it’s not just me. My Fiance will get reamed out if he misses a family affair or tries to leave early, but Future Brother-In-Law could miss 3 in a row and everything is fine. Some parents have their favorites even though they don’t admit they do. I’m just happy my family is more accepting of us so we’re not completely isolated
Post # 21
Thats the best way to do it. Here you might get some flack, but it is easier to say what you need and hopefully get good advice/support.
Post # 22
Yeah, that would burn. You and your DH paved the way for her to accept your Brother-In-Law and sister’s relationship the way she has. Hopefully your sister will thank you!
Post # 23
If Op doesnt take heart from your funny ( wryly funny! ) post I don’t know what would . I think she will, she sounds resiliant !
It’s probably how my sister felt when my mum used to say she only had a second child because my father didn’t want me to be an only child …… mind you , since she often also said how she would have been very happy with no children , we didn’t get too excercised about it!
Post # 24
aw, I’m sorry that would be so hurtful.