(Closed) MIL/ FIL's 50th Wedding Anniversary…Would you fly across the country?

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Would you fly across the country on a holiday weekend ($$$) to celebrate your in-laws 50th?

    Yes, def

    No, just send a nice gift

    Play it by ear but not commit

  • Post # 2
    2762 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Of course.

    Post # 3
    11392 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015


    Post # 4
    47382 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Can you change the dates on your existing tickets?  If you have to go back there is just a few months, it might be an idea. You will likely have a change fee but will still likely save $$$.

    Post # 5
    9084 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    My train of thought is if I would do it for my parents then I would do it for his parents.

    Post # 6
    7892 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would go. A lot of marriages don’t survive 50 years, and they are your partner’s parents! I would be less thrilled about being pushed into planning the party for them, but I’m not quite sure to what degree of planning they’re expecting. 

    Post # 7
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    For a 50th for our parents? Absolutely, yes. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime milestone. For a non-milestone anniversary? Eh, maybe not.

    Post # 8
    1124 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yep. We did it for my grandparents, not even a question if we’d be there.

    Post # 9
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015


    Post # 10
    2873 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Go, yes. Pay for it? Only if I get to control the budget and vendors. 

    Post # 11
    2010 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would go, but I wouldn’t throw the party. If they want a party, they can pay for it themselves. If they really are insinuating that they expect you to pay then I find that incredibly rude.

    Post # 13
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee

    Well, if you are offering to throw it than it can be whatever you want it to be. Dinner, small reception, etc. But you and your partner need to decide on a budget and stick to it – don’t let his parents commandeer things. They can pay for it themselves if they want to invite 100 people or have a super fancy dinner. I would decided beforehand what you are prepared to offer and than let them know – “Mom, Dad, we’d be happy to host you and 10 of your friends for dinner for your 50th” for example.

    Post # 14
    2942 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    vintagekitten:  Both my grandparent’s 50th and my aunt and uncles 45th (aunt has cancer and we are unsure if she will make it to 50/be able to party at 50)  We had more of an open house vibe to the proceedings.  Invited all the family, had lighter catered food (not full meal) and they did a vow renewal/mass (Catholics) 

    The ettiqute on hosting a party is pretty clear that you shouldn’t have people chip in for dinner, but I’m sure you can find a lower cost than a nice resteraunt.

    Post # 15
    6952 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Fly back, yes. Plan a party you did not OFFER to plan? Hell no. I’d be like “That’s so exciting and I’m happy to help out.” and that’s that.

    I wouldn’t be okay with my own mother doing that and not asking me. It’s pretty disrespectful. 

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