- 11 years ago
I’m going ANON for this. I knew it was only a matter of time before MIL revealed her true self and that I drum roll please…my husband needs to cut the cord.
A little back story, me and DH have been married a short time but together for years. I do not like his mother. As a person, I just don’t care for her personality or many of her actions in the past. DH knows of my issues with her, yet apparently he still has this deliusional thought in his mind that “how can anyone not like my mom”. Sorry, but I don’t feel guilty about this. I have tried, oh I have, to find something we have in common, but we don’t. His family and I just have a very superficial relationship and it don’t bother me in the least bit. From our first meeting, and my gut is usually right, we just never clicked and I pegged her to be a phony, with her sugary over-the top sweet desposition and meek voice, who was not to be trusted, and my theory proved right. The one person I do love is his grandma, her Mother-In-Law, who oddly enough is “evil” and “sinister” lol” according to Mother-In-Law who bashes the women while she’s in the next room to my husband.
Anyway, there has NEVER been an altercation in all these years b/w Mother-In-Law, me or ANYONE in his family. I go over for the holidays, am respectful, give gifts, smile, the whole nine. Everything is honkey dorey. DH goes over plenty without me and I do not think I am obligated to go over every single time he goes there. Way back while we were still engaged, Mother-In-Law did something that offended me and DH confronted her, well no one I guess confronts mommy, bc during our next meeting the passive aggressive behavior was in FULL FORCE, from following me and DH around at a party trying to ease drop on our convos, I mean it was bad. Me and her don’t chat on the phone or get together, we never have, I have no desire to and I’m pretty sure she feels the same way, yet in front of her “perfect family” she likes to put on her act ..
So, DH and I have had minor issues latley. We’ve worked them out and everything is fine again and it was something minor. His way of working things out was running back to mommy and daddy’s house making it a huge drama filled fest which resorted to my family being dragged into this by his interferring holyier then thou parents. The issue was not even about with his mother. The way he handled this made things horrible. Well, mommy pushed herself on the phone to talk to my mother where the verbal dirahhea she told her was neverending. My mother told me she actually zoned out during the call bc she was rambling. From claiming that she calls me all the time, which is a lie, this was after my mother mentioned that she never communicated with me once to ask how I am doing during this entire pregnancy, to INSISTING THAT WE ALL, which means DH, I and both of the families talk about these “issues” together as a FAMILLLLYYYYY, like a “sit down”, where my family told her flat out no they are not getting involved in our marriage and this is B/W DH and I. To, “I thought your daughter was going to be the daughter I never had”. I mean she laid the BS on soo thick you needed a shovel and we are still not sure why she involved herself since it is not about her..
So, DH decideded to put his mom on the phone with me, after I tell him I am not discussing our marital issues, with his parents. Well, I say hello and this is what I hear, she gets on not even saying hello but SCEAMING LIKE THE EXORCIST, LIKE A PSHCYHO “what did I do to you, I have showered you with kindess”, always the victim, to where I say, in a calm voice, can you please stop screaming, to where she proceeds to scream at the TOP OF HER LUNGS EVEN LOUDER, so I said “ok, you are screaming and I can’t speak over you I am going to end the call” and hung up. I feel my blood pressure rising, I wait a minute and call back. She now answers, like a different person, totally calm, odd how she can calm herself so easliy, SHE NOW PRETENDS TO NOT KNOW IT’S ME even though she has caller ID, asking “who is this”…lol. So I told her in a calm voice, “if you would like to speak about this like 2 adults, we can, but you can’t scream over me as that is disrespectuful.” She agrees, yet even at this point I hear her trying to talk over me while I am talking and she begins raising her voice. The first thing out of mommy’s mouth is “HE IS MY SON AND I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH” to which I say yes you should, what I should have said was “AND HE’S MY HUSBAND YOU DON’T OWN HIM”..but I didn’t, to then “I INVITE YOU OVER FOR DINNER AND YOU DON’T COME YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE PART OF “THIS FAMILY.” I’m thinking wow, please get over yourself. I am a grown woman who can do what she pleases and turn down an invite. Also, my immediate family is LO on the way and my husband..not her. I responded with an “uhuh” bc I could feel myself becoming even more stressed out. I am picturing a 12 year old jealous, mad school girl standing in the corner with her hands on her hips sulking bc the the other girls won’t play with her. That is what she sounds like. She then asks me to “list what I have done to offend you.” Can you please tell me who does this? So I tell her about 2 incidents. I’m guessing she is seeing if I am I going to start yelling so she can go and whine that I yelled at her, but I didn’t. What a surprise, she does not remember any of this, denies doing it, but wait, NOW A MIRACLE HAPPENS AND SHE DOES RECALL but then flips it on me TELLING ME HOW DH AND I “BEHAVED” VERY RUDELY also to where I respond ” DH and I are grown adults and we don’t need to be watched by you at family events and if it was an issue you can confront your son about it.” Well, now her voice gets louder, so I have to talk a little louder and she then starts, once again, YELLING AND SCREAMING OVER ME. I am almost 7 months pregant and at this point I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I say over her “you have some nerve getting me, whose pregnant, upset” and hung up the phone.
Everyone I spoke with agree she’s bat shyt crazy and that I handled her like an adult and should have hung up on her without saying anything. I have not communicated with her since then, and at this point in time I want nothing to do with her. The fact that she is that selfish to start screaming like a 12 year old girl when I am pregnant, speaks volumes. I guess she feels like she’s loosing control over the cord attached to DH. DH told me he thinks she was wrong by yelling and her husband told her that too, but who knows what to believe. DH told me I need to squash this with his mother and my family told me the same thing.
Now, my mother is planning on throwing me a shower next month, no invites have been sent yet, but I know she is doing it soon. I told her after this incident I did not want Mother-In-Law at my shower, but my mother said she has to invite her and women from his side and wether she accepts the invite is up to her.
So do you all agree with this? If she does come, I do not even want to look at her or her posse. Do you think she would even show up?
My mother told me that she won’t throw me a shower if I refuse to not invite MIL and it’s not bc anyone in my family even likes the women. What would you girls do and what would you do regarding having to see this witch in the future?