- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2016
I’m going to start with – my Future Mother-In-Law is a lovely woman. She is loving and caring for her children, including me, and just wants the best for us which is so great. She is always looks out for us and takes care of us all when we need her help. The only problem is she is really, REALLY controlling and she argues with me sometimes. Not like full on arguing, but she will say something like:
Future Mother-In-Law: “Why have you been starting at 12 at work lately?”
Fiance: “I’ve been starting at 12 for ages now”
Future Mother-In-Law: “Don’t say ages! You have not, dont lie to me, I see your work schedule” (she gets his emails and reads them)
Fiance: “I have, since we’ve had this deal going at work since beginning of May I’ve been starting at 12 on the weekends”
Future Mother-In-Law: “No you haven’t! Don’t lie!”
I didn’t run out and defend him because he needs to learn to stand up to his own mother, but as he is a chef and lately his work has been busier he has been starting at 12 for the last 3-4 weeks. But that is just one case of where she is right, we are wrong and she will argue until she is blue in the face.
The main thing I have been getting really irritable about is I have endometriosis, which I have been dealing with for years. Whenever it comes up in discussion between us she likes to remind me of her surgery (which was a cyst, not endo) and her friends cases with endo and how they have lived fine with it and gone on to have children etc.
I get really frustrated trying to tell her that not all cases are the same and how bad the pain has been in the past few years and how I am worried I have left it for so long and let it develop and it could effect my fertlity. Whenever the word fertility or babies comes in she gets really angry and tells me I am not ALLOWED to worry about having children yet and I can start thinking about it when I’m 28 (which she feels is a good time to start thinking about kids).
I hate it when people force me into decisions, and I always feel like I need to push against them just because they force me into these corners.
I feel that I am 22, and right now my health, career and just enjoying life with my Fiance is most important but also I want to consider that I need to take care of any issues concerning my fertility so in a few years time when we are ready for children, it isn’t going to be a dissapointment that I have let things go on for too long and ruin those chances for concieving.
She was also trying to tell me the mirena is just fine and she has it and it is really good for her so I should consider it as a birth control option but also an option to help my peiods. I feel really uncomfortable with the mirena, I have had a few discussions with my gyno and doctors about getting it, but I have always come back to the feeling in my gut that I just dont feel comfortable having something placed inside me for such a long period of time. It scares me and I really just dont want it, but once again today she was right and I was “wrong” so she kept pushing for it. In the end I kind of did something stupid and just said “Look, I dont want it and it’s fine because once I have my endo taken out in a few months we will only have to wait a few years before we try for kids anyways”. It’s safe to say she got a little angry at me after that and I heard her refer to me as the “bitch” her son has to live with while talking to my Fiance and Future Brother-In-Law.
Oh the love of mothers. I think this was more of a rant than anything. Has anyone else got a difficult Mother-In-Law that they love but kind of drives them a little crazy? I always talk to my Fiance about issues and problems that come up, but with his family I tend to be gentle about it and probably dont make it sound as bad as it usually is. He knows his mother is demanding and always tells me to just tell her no and in the end it’s my choice, but as soon as she gets wind of my choices it feels like I am the worst person in the world in her eyes.