MIL has/(had?) shingles, wants to see baby

posted 11 months ago in Babies
Post # 31
2479 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I had shingles a few years ago. It was my understanding that if you do not have blisters, you are not contagious. A lot of people that get shingles get blister all around half of their body and it takes a long time to go away. I’m sure that is where the 3-5 weeks is coming from. I had a lot of blisters but it only lasted a couple weeks and then I was fine. I would take the doctors word for it. If both her and your doctor say it is fine, I’m sure it’s fine. (It is totally understandable that you’re nervous, but I think waiting maybe weeks based off something on the internet you read isn’t a great plan)

Post # 32
9845 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Based on the point raised by julies1949 :  re the virus being found in other secretions, I would hold off. 

Do as PP suggested re Skype/FaceTime etc. better safe than sorry- I mean, they aren’t 100% sure and why would you take a risk with a baby? What happens if LO gets shingles based on small odds? Nope, no thanks. 

MIL can wait a few weeks, babies aren’t a comfort blanket to be passed around to needy adults. 

Post # 33
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

“I don’t care what doctors say”. Ignorance at its best. We’ve created a society that think they know better because of a brief browse on google. 

Post # 34
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Tricky situation but I would get a pediatricians approval that there was no chance of virus shedding before I’d let them interact.  Remember risk is never 0% but it’s very acceptable and understandable to make that risk as low as possible.  Personally I’d probably ask for another week just to further reduce the chance.

Post # 35
2940 posts
Sugar bee

jennapn :  it isn’t ignorance, it’s life experience. I was a mother waaaayyyy before we had a Google. Doctors are NOT infallible and if you blindly believe every single they tell you then the ignorance would be on your part because sometimes they’re just giving you their “best bet” and sometimes they’re WRONG! You have to utilize a little common sense about these things. 

They cannot (or have not) said with 100% absolute certainty that the baby will not catch it. That implies some level of risk – even if the risk is low. Why take ANY risk?? It’s her newborn BABY. There is no funeral or event that is pressing attendance. For just a random visit, it can wait. Easy peasy. 

I was very sick a few weeks ago. I carried a 102-103 fever for three days. They tested me for the flu. No flu. They tested me for strep. No strep. They took urine and told me I had a UTI and prescribed a very high dose CIPRO which I took for several days (it tore up my joints terribly). A week later the lab results for the urine came back. No UTI. Soooooo, what did I have and what did she see in my urine that made her say that? Have they called and said, “Hey lady, you remember that UTI I was sure you had? You didn’t have that so come in and we need to look at some other things.” No! They’ve said nothing.  So yes, sometimes a little hunting and pecking on your own is in order. There is no shame in learning and trying to be informed about what’s going on in your own body and there is no shame in asking questions and taking precautions to ensure the safety and wellness of your children. We get equally informed when we buy a house, a new car, a diamond, take a trip to a foreign country, consider a new religion, a divorce, etc… yet daring to even QUESTION medical advice is considered arrogant. I’ve had a “disease” called POLYMYOSITIS since 1998. Had a definitive biopsy and diagnosis. Polymyositis will generally kill you in roughly 7 years (notice I said 1998). I was a member of a forum and I’ve seen about two rounds of members die off since I joined. I finally left. I don’t have that shit. I don’t know what I have but that ain’t it. I took that handicapped tag (I have a PERMANENT tag – they don’t just hand those out) out of my car, got back up on my ladders and doing my projects…so be it. But you can blindly believe what they tell you if you dare to. You’ll most likely continue to do so until you’re sick or have a real issue and you may find yourself Googling too! 

Post # 37
934 posts
Busy bee

There are how many patients per each doctor? Doctors who also have their own lives, their own worries, stresses, concerns? Do you honestly think each doctor has each patient’s problems at the top of their list? No. They don’t. There are too many patients for that. It’s impossible. Doctors start with the best practice first, when they fails they look at something else. Only after so many attempts do they finally stop and actually look at the patient, not just the symptoms. They have good days, and bad days, and days where they don’t want to get up and go to work either, just like the rest of us.

Had I just blindly listened to doctors over 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have a hand. They wanted to remove it after severe nerve damage and phantom limb, telling me I would never have use of it again, so might as well just rid myself of the problem. The same problem that I’ve fixed, with the help of a Physical Therapist for over 10 years, and have 80% use again. So no, just listening to doctors for the sake of listening is stupid. No one is more invested in a person’s body than that person, except for babies. And it would behoove anyone to educate themselves on just what is going on, steps to take, and what works for their body.


OP, you need to do what is best for your child. Your MIL, while in love with her grand baby, is an adult. She can understand the situation and react accordingly. I would give it some weeks to pass,  and then reunite them for Christmas. She should be able to put her grand baby’s health before her own wants and desires. The way time is flying, it’s only 21 days until Christmas. Personally, my baby would be kept away, and kept safe, but as I said, I don’t put a whole lot of stock into what doctors say these days. Sure, I’d ask their opinions, since they know medical way more than I do, but I’d also remember that they aren’t the ones compromising their (in this case) child’s health.  


As an aside, I don’t intend for my post to come off as a rag against doctors. I have lot of friends who are doctors, and nurses, and I respect their opinion. Absolutely. I just don’t believe that anyone is more invested than myself in my health, as it should be, and that doctors often forget that they aren’t living with the choices being made – the patient is. At the end of the day, it’s just a job, and it’s always easier said than done. 

Post # 38
48 posts
  • Wedding: July 2016

I did not read everyone’s responses, but in this type of situation Skype would be my choice. 

Post # 39
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

pearlrose :  my comment wasn’t directed to you! Someone else later said directly “I don’t care what doctors say”

Post # 41
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I can’t believe how many people shut themselves in when a baby is born.  I’d lose my mind.  DOctors can never say anything is without risk.  DO you take your baby shopping?  There are tons and tons of germs at the store and everywhere else you go.  Hell, the pediatrician’s office where I’m guessing you take your baby regularly is FULL of germs.  I don’t see the harm if everyone that sees baby washes their hands and doens’t kiss baby’s face.

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