Post # 1
My mil in the beginning when I was dating my dh was so nice to me and I’ve noticed throughout the years she has become more rude. She makes rude jokes that aren’t funny when dh and I were stressed out and trying to buy a house. She will ask a question and when I answer basically tell me I’m wrong then if someone else tells her the same answer she believes them and will tell us how so and so told her the same thing I said and act like I never told her the same thing. When we got our house she invited people over for a decorating party even though I said no just come see the house then proceeds to make decisions on what should be done for our house. For Christmas she bought big bulky and messy items for my step daughter knowing we were still in the process of cleaning and getting organized. When we were planning the wedding I asked if she wanted to get her hair and makeup done with me and the bridesmaids, her daughter was also in the wedding and it would be our treat. She said no because family was coming then a month before the wedding made it seem like I didn’t include her. The last thing was I texted her happy birthday which she never responded to but responded to my husband who texted her around when I did and after I sent my birthday wishes. I just don’t know why she hates me now.
Post # 2
I think it would be a good idea to take some deep breaths and a step back. “She hates me” is not a productive thing to be telling yourself. Take yourself out of the equation; it’s not about you, it’s about her and the fact that she seems to be a deeply unhappy person who can only derive small pleasures by putting other people down. You can’t do anything to change her. You can only change yourself, so concentrate on speaking up for yourself when the situation warrants and rolling your eyes when it doesn’t. You get to decide where that line is drawn.
Post # 3
anonni4 : I would recommend the DWIL forum (Google it).
I would take a huge step back and disengage.
Post # 4
Don’t overthink it. It’s about you, your Darling Husband and your own life and the family you create. Don’t let her trip you up. I’ve had similar experiences and have learned to just let it go. I am still nice and cordial, but I have stopped trying to extend myself or put in too much effort. She is impossible to please, and that’s her problem- not mine. You got this, good luck!
Post # 5
You do not need to be best buddies with this woman. All you need to do is be polite. I agree with PP. Take a HUGE step back and decrease your interactions with her- the way you would do with anyone you felt was being unkind to you.
Post # 6
Thank you everyone I plan on doing just that
Post # 7
I honestly think this has more to do with her and her own issues then anything you are doing. I would just ignore her and she might not find it enjoyable when she sees it has no affect on you.