(Closed) MIL is an intrusive nightmare

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

To simplify, she wants a dance with the kids, you don’t want her to.

 

It’s not worth the fight. You also don’t have to dance to the whole song, if you worry about length. Not every dance needs to be 5 minutes long, just play the first part for the less important dances, for example, hers.

 

ETA: “…I said that if anyone should have a special dance to show family unity, it should be him, the kids and me.” 

 

I’m not sure about that. What about their mother?

Post # 3
Member
6349 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You say your Fiance is now angry with you…so does he want his mom to have this special dance too? Do you and your Fiance agree about his mother or not? 

Post # 4
Member
5170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

This is so strange, I would have just told her she can dance with the kids for the whole reception!

Unfortunately this is your FI’s mom and they are his kids so if he doesn’t have a problem with it and would rather you just let her do it then you might need to let this one go. 

Post # 5
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

um. no i wouldnt budge, the wedding is about you and your future husband, not your Mother-In-Law having a special dance with 2 kids. If she is insistent on a dance then make the song a priority to play at the wedding, maybe within the first ten songs. But i wouldnt allow it right after the main dances. 

she called you a failure….. you dont owe her any special attention at this point, outside of being cordial at best when in public. 

What does the Fiance think of all this?

Post # 6
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

Why is his ex invited?

Post # 8
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I don’t really understand why there would be a “special dance” at a wedding that involves neither the bride nor the groom. Weird. I would tell her you’ll be sure that special song gets played toward the beginning of the reception and she can grab both kids and dance with them then.

ETA: I have a feeling this special dance is more about one-upping Father-In-Law and your FI’s stepmom, and that’s childishness I don’t think you should entertain.

Post # 10
Member
5170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
bride102018 :  I would probably feel the same way you do about the dance but the problem here is how your Fiance flip flops on the issues caused by his mother. Can he really not understand why your wedding isn’t the place for her to have a moment?

I don’t really understand the dress stuff though.

Post # 12
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
bride102018 :  I’m confused. First you said, “She wants her OWN special dance with the kids. ” Now you say, “ she wants a dance that only includes her.”

 

I’m lost about the dress too. Are she and your mom supposed to wear the same dress? Same color and style? I’m not getting what the problem is.

Post # 15
Member
6349 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
bride102018 :  Okay well the problem is you and your Fiance are not on the same page. You two should be a united front. You two need to talk and come up with a plan TOGETHER. 

Also not understanding the dress problem…? Unless she’s trying to wear a white wedding dress let your Future Mother-In-Law wear what she wants. 

The topic ‘MIL is an intrusive nightmare’ is closed to new replies.

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