(Closed) MIL is at it again…invited a 'secret guest' to stay with us for a week!?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 76
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

AHJ:  Thanks for the update! I swear, your Mother-In-Law stories are incredibly riveting.

On a more serious matter, I hate to think the worst of people, but given your MIL’s behaviour, it might be time to start a detailed record keeping of what she’s done, times, dates and so forth. I’d also keep recordings of any messages, emails, texts that she sends. If she decides to take this legal and assert grandparent rights, you’ll need the record of her batcrap crazy ways to at least limit the damage she could do to your little one. Perhaps your records could mitigate the time she’s granted or at least require supervision at all times.

I’m very close to my family, but even I think your husband should take the job. Distance may make her less crazy, at least on a daily basis for the two (and soon three) of you. She is toxic and disrespectful. That is a dangerous combination.

Post # 77
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

AHJ:  Thank you for the update.  You and your Darling Husband are a fantastic team.   Big hugs, and much admiration to you.  Hang in there.  

Post # 78
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Holy shit that was an epic read!! I also have a f*cking awful mil and Darling Husband grandmother is super bitch. Perhaps we should introduce them? I think they’d get on well! Im glad your sorting this out before your baby arrives because jeeze she is going to be a living nightmare!!! 

Post # 79
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow that’s insane, leave the baby behind wtf??? I’m not a proponent of using a child as a pawn and withholding grandparent attention unless they’ll cause physical or emotional harm (my mom did this to me and I strongly resent her for keeping me from one set of grandparents and aunts) … But your mil will not follow your wishes at all and I don’t think I myself could trust her with my child without my presence.  I think it’s time for both of you to strongly consider that move as I think it will do a world of wonder to your family and perhaps give her a big reality check.

Post # 80
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

AHJ:  I’d be very cautious of the baby shower and personally I’d cancel it or postpone it if she’s the one planning it.  She may very well make out the event to show how “good she is” and his your an ungrateful dil who will not let her see her grandchild because you two are so mean yatta yatta yatta.  Then you’ll be upset, pregnant, sad/frustrated and have your baby shower ruined.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Ettalie.
Post # 81
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I’m only writing this because of the tone of your replies.

I’m hoping Pauline shows up.  Because you offered your house to her without her even asking because you knew how much pressure the wedding is putting on her finances.  You’ll use all that time together to plan the wedding dress alterations and see if there’s anything else in your closet she can use.  And she’ll be gushing with excitement that you chose to give your baby the middle name Pauline.

 

Threads like this make me turn to my husband and reiterate how I have the best mother in law ever.

Post # 82
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Errr no NO NO! Don’t let her win!

Post # 83
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

WHAT AN EPIC UPDATE!!!  You guys did an awesome job with her.  I am sure she isn’t done with her games, but you guys were an awesome team  and big fat kudos to your husband!

I would really really like to know what, if anything, your Father-In-Law said in all of this – or did he sit quietly and let her bury herself?

 

I had 2 of the very best mothers in law to walk the planed and I am so thankful for that when I read this stuff.

 

Oh, and leave the baby with her?  My jaw dropped to the floor on that one.  She is far more bat shit crazy than I thougt possible.

 

Post # 84
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Way to go OP!!  Yeah, DWIL is eye opening and also helpful.  Hope you can establish a TO until you and your husband are ready and have some peace in your house.  It might be helpful to shut down baby information with the family, so it doesn’t get back to your Mother-In-Law.  See if your hospital will allow you to register as private.

Post # 85
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

applesandspice:  unless the other family members are cuckoo as well I would not do this.  one should not harm innocent bystanders because of one looney person in the family and this is a great way to destroy any relationship with any SANE family member.  If they’re all looney then I would agree to minimize the info to all family members.

I do agree with the private part or keeping labour/delivert information private because I hav a feeling she would be the type to march on in …

Post # 86
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

AHJ:  Does she still have a way to get into your house???  You need to change your locks, garage door codes, whatever!

Post # 88
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

AHJ:  so, how did the baby shower go? And, who was the secret,  uninvited houseguest? 

Post # 89
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

robsbeach:  haha you sound like Cathy Bates in MISERY- dieing to know the next chapter of the Misery saga … number one fan…. 

Post # 90
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah, what happened OP? How’d the shower go?

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