Post # 1
Oh boy where do I begin? I LOVE my Future Mother-In-Law BUT I can not stand the way she does certain things. Everytme I go to dinner I try to help and ask can I set the table? Set up plates? (its usually buffet style because my Future Sister-In-Law lives upstairs with her hubby and 2 adorable kids) Anything I ask to do its wrong napkins are on wrong side cups are the worng ones why did you put the trivet on that side? I try to help but I am really getting pissed off lately when I go there. The nephews from upstairs are for the most part good kids one has autism and she makes it known to everyone they come into contact with (which bugs me because your singling him out) Every little thing they do its a big deal and she gives these extemely long speeches which I know for a fact they dont remember any of it… I am afraid that when we kids she will do same thing and the sister doesnt speak up and I will especially when it comes to MY child. Thos kids always think there doing something wrong and its sad! Anyone else have issues with their FMIL? ADVICE????
Post # 3
First thought: Oh my goodness! You poor girl.
I dated a guy a few years ago and his mother was THAT WOMAN. She was always pushing me away and I could never do anything right. It’s a feeling you can’t deal with for long and I finally did confront her.
Most importantly, have you explained this whole thing to your guy? Does he have anything to say about it? It seems like (by the way it’s worded) that no one is stepping into the lions cage and actually explaining the hurt and confusion she is causing. I can’t help but wonder if there is something deeper than the nit-picky plate setting garbage and the extreme over-production with the autistic child (which would piss me off to no end). It sounds like an insecurity thing. Is she embarassed becasue the child has a disablility, maybe she thinks it reflects on her in some way, like it’s her fault? And the silverware and table setting could be a control issue.
I think you already know you have to approach her because otherwise you’ll just eventually LOSE IT. This isn’t the best advise but, I can relate to you. I’m sorry you’re in such an uncomfortable situation. Theres nothing like a hard to deal with Mother-In-Law.
Post # 4
Thank you! Ya my guy knows he just waves it off because he believes you cant change people that “they are who they are” type of attitude he has stuck up for me here and there but half the time he doesnt even see it or hear it then I have to explain it. She claims she loves me and yadda yadda but if you try to change something or even suggest a different way she gets all pissy but with the wedding comming up in 18 mths i can just see problems on the horizon and im scared hahah thanks for the vent 🙂