Post # 1
Okay so I’ve posted MANY times before of issues with my MIL, especially about her visiting with my son. So I had a long talk with her back in August about everything and explained that we are busy however all she has to do is call and see if we’re around for a visit. She said okay but never did it so instead I would call her and ask her if she would like to come over and visit. She only came twice and every other time would make up an excuse. I say an excuse because it was things she could reschedule. For example, her excuse on time was “I’m actually gonna go to the gym” yes she prefers to go to the gym rather than see her only grandchild. Fine. Not my problem, her lost not ours. She would constatly ask us well since I can’t go over can you come over to my house and I said well we can’t today because such and such. The few times we would attempt to go over to her house she’s never home. Again her problem not ours. Honestly I don’t care if she’s in my son’s life or not. Not that I don’t want her there but she seems not to care enough to make the time. Like she’ll text or call DH and NEVER ask how the baby is doing she’ll only say give him a kiss from me. Why can’t you ask how he’s doing? I don’t get it. I have no problem leaving it alone however now she’s jumping down my husband’s throat about it.
She’s saying she doesn’t understand why the baby can’t go to her house and he gets to see my FIL more, reason being is we end up over there by chance never planned. She goes on to say that my husband never calls her and just a bunch of BS to make him feel bad. DH is usually a push over however I’m so proud of him cause he told her how she NEVER asks how the baby is doing of course she brushes that off and says how the baby never comes to her house. SMH. Not really looking for advice because I butt out and let DH deal with it because that woman is a pill, I tell ya! I just needed to vent. DH is sucha an amazing person and I don’t like when people treat him like he’s a bad guy when he is far from it. Thanks for listening ladies!
Post # 2
eecuadrado: We must share a MIL. I could have wirtten this post. That is all 🙂
Post # 3
megz06: hahaha!! megz I’m convinced that we do!!
Post # 4
So you think she should reschedule her plans to accommodate you? That’s pretty selfish, don’t you think? Maybe she doesn’t have your child on her mind at all times. Not every conversation needs to be about him. She called to talk to her son for whatever reason. And she did acknowledge your kid by telling her son to give the baby a kiss for her. Really, what more do you want? Do you want her to sit around all day waiting for you to call her so she can skurry over and see your kid? The world doesn’t revolve around the person that you made.
Post # 5
eecuadrado: basically, she wants to be gramma under her terms, at her convenience. But, only when the scales are tipped and she feels visiting is uneven. Score keeping, guilt trips and refusing to go with the flow, are all signs of emotional manipulation. Don’t Fall for it.
Personally, I cut someone out of my life for that. I thought about how this person makes me feel, and refused to allow my kids to ever feel the way I have. Its awful and can make you feel hopeless, like no matter what, you’ll never make an emotional manipulator happy.
My advice is really nothing. You’re doing fine the way you are, and not putting effort toward a relationship with MIL is the best thing you can do for you and your child.
Post # 6
Omg to in-laws! I never understood why everyone had problems with them (you just always hear about the dreaded in-laws) until I got them! And it’s weird because I actually like pretty much everyone, except for my husband’s brother & his stupid alcoholic, nasty, conniving, self righteous, stuck up wife. But as a whole, his family is just drama! I can’t stand how much time & energy they command. I hate it! It’s probably because ALL of them live in town. So, I hear ya on needing to vent!
Post # 7
eecuadrado: omg i could foresee myself writing this exact post next year! My MIL already complains about my DH not calling her…yet when we do reach out to her she always makes excuses!
Post # 8
ilovebacon: True, but with a kid schedules can’t just be rearranged as easily. It’s how the MIL is going around this which seems to be the real issue here.
Post # 9
ilovebacon: That’s not what I want at all! She can do as she pleases! All I’m saying is son’t complain you don’t see him if you don’t make the time.
Post # 10
MrsBagel: exactly!! She guilt trips all the time! I don’t think its fair to my son that she pops in and out of his life when she feels like it!
Peanut-Sue: hahaha same!! I was like what?! in-laws can’t be that bad! Then BAM I got “blessed” with two sets lol. Thanks girl it feels good to let it out!
MrsBaldEagle: Ugh!! I hope not because it truly is DRAINING!!!
mrs.joiner: Thank you for the support!
Post # 11
ilovebacon: +1…I would be put off if I got a call being like ‘ do you want to see the baby RIGHT NOW? No? OK wait until the next time I call!”.
Maybe try calling her on a Monday and asking if she wants to come over on a Saturday so she can make time? Or call her and say hey can we stop over tomorrow? Do you just drive over and assume she will be home?
I get she is frustrating ( I remember your other posts) but try planning ahead a little bit and see if it helps. My DHs family is a last minute type family ( like inviting us out to dinner 6 hours ahead of time) and it annoys the ever loving fuck out of me. Im very busy and last minute stuff usually invovles me not getting to the gym or having acrock pot meal go directly in the fridge or something. I just want to know a day or two ahead so I can plan accordingly.
Sounds like the majority of the issues in this post alone seem like they could be solved by planning ahead of time?