(Closed) MIL name is same as SIL name, GFIL , FIL and FI all have same name annd…

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m with you, I always think it’s just confusing to purposely have so many people with the same first name. I’d probably compromise and make it the middle name, but no one in your FI’s family besides him should have any input on the name – if I were you I’d probably keep the name a secret down the road when you are pregnant just to avoid them putting down whatever name you do choose if it’s going to be a problem.

Post # 4
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oof, that’s tricky. I know a couple who skipped the tradition with their first son, and got so much flack that the 2nd boy got the name. Do they want you to name the boy the same First Middle Last? Or do you have leeway with the middle name, which you can then call him by?

And naming the girl the same name is just odd to me, like Grandma Jr? You can honor her or SIL with that as a middle name, or using one of their middle names, but in the end, only you and Fiance should have total say over your in-the-future children’s names. Just talk with him and get on the same page, and once the names are on paper, too bad for everyone else 😉

Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve never been a fan of naming babies after their parents. I think it’s kind of narcissistic.  There are a million names out there, why chose the same name as yours.  My ex bf hated even sharing a middle name with his dad and grandpa because he felt like they were impossing themselves on him.  He would always say that he was him, not his father and not his grandfather, (although he had a great relationship with both of them).

I wouldn’t do this. You should decide what you want to do and when you make that decision, stand your ground and don’t give in.  they’ll get over it.

Post # 7
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think at this time (2 years ahead), you should just agree with them and smile and nod.  You’ve got lots of time to think of children– if you even want to have them– and can work this one out when you are actually pregnant?

Luckily, I don’t have this problem, but my male cousins do! There have always been two boy names in my father’s side of the family and the pressure is on for my one male cousin to continue the line! (Since I won’t be keeping my maiden name, I’m free!) I do like the names a lot– one is my father’s name– but I’ve already got a nephew with that name (different last) and I’ve got other ideas for my hypothetical kids! (We do have to call the nephew “Little ___”, which I’m sure is going to get on his nerves since he’s going to hit puberty soon.)

SO’s brother is a 2nd, and I’m pretty sure they’ll be having a 3rd if they have a boy.  It does get confusing even just with the 1st and 2nd at the dinner table, I can’t imagine what it will be like when there are three!

EDIT: I do think it might be fun to keep some middle names in the family, though.  I kind of like having a piece of family history that way, though I’d want them to have brand new first names.

Post # 8
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be tempted to respond, “Well, should the time come that Fiance & I need to choose names for children, I am sure we certainly consider your family tradition of repeating names – as well as my families tradition of giving each child their own unique name.”  🙂  In the end though, the only one you really need to talk to about this is your Fiance.  You can just smile and say, “We’ll see” to his family.

But I am with you, I do not like first names repeated – too confusing!  My mom put together our family tree and it was super confusing to do with all of the repeat names (and ages back, the babies that died and got names repeated).  My Fiance has his father’s names reversed, e.g. “John James” and “James John” which is ok but not great.

Post # 9
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Meowkers: I agree. If you’re not involved in making it, you’re not involved in naming it ;-P

Post # 10
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@bookworm88: Oooh, I’d be careful about actually agreeing to do it to keep them quiet for now, because you can bet your boots they’ll remember that later and be pissed if OP doesn’t follow through on it.  I think noncommital, while more annoying to deal with the fallout at the time, is the better way in the long-run.

Post # 12
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Thats ridiculous. But I agree say nothing now and blaze your own trail later.

Post # 13
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@kay01: That’s a good point, too.  I would hate to have them pull up the “but you promised!!” 

Post # 14
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oooh this is a huge pet peeve of mine–I really think that people who are not the baby’s parents should NOT be suggesting names, let alone (even hinting) what you ‘must’ name the baby–especially before one is conceived!!!!

My Future Father-In-Law once told Fiance that we “have” to name a child after his (FFIL’s) parents. WTF. No, we do not. You can say that you would appreciate it, or that you think it’s a lovely tradition, but you do not get to say what I “have” to do with my kids. Plus they were really bad, old-fashioned names. And maybe I wanted to name after my grandparents or someone else?

Post # 15
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m not a fan of same names either, but I actually like what ended up happening in my family with names and plan to continue it.

I’m not sure that i can explain it without using names, so whatever.  My mom and grandma are both named Anne.  But instead of giving me the same name, they made it part of my name.  So I’m Kelly-Anne.  I’ll do something similar if I ever have a daughter.

Is something like that an option?

Post # 16
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why isn’t SIL the one to continue the girl’s name?  If the tradition is naming the daughter after the mother, what does that name have to do with you?  

I personally don’t like the same name used over and over.  It’s confusing and gets awkward if the name becomes old fashioned.  I also know someone who had a lot of problems with his credit history because he was a Jr. and his dad’s bad credit got all mixed up with his.  It took a very long time and a lot of phone calls and paperwork to sort it out.

The topic ‘MIL name is same as SIL name, GFIL , FIL and FI all have same name annd…’ is closed to new replies.

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