(Closed) MIL offered help buying my dress…

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That’s really sweet. It sounds like Future Mother-In-Law is super excited to help you, but I get that it could cause tension with your mom if she wanted to buy the dress. I think you could accept the help…no one necessarily needs to know the specific financial inputs, but if Future Mother-In-Law and your mom could jointly help you get the dress maybe that would make both of them happy. 

I recommend not accepting financial help when it would cause unnecessary ownership or control issues over the wedding, however it doesn’t sound like the case here.


ETA, it might not be too soon to start looking! Sometimes it takes much longer than you expect to find a dress you love, and often they take 6-9 months to get in from when you order them, THEN you still have alterations. 

Post # 5
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s great you and your MIl have this kind of relationship :-). I had it too, with my late Mother-In-Law..

My mother offered to buy me the dress.. after she was poked by my close cousin!! On my first wedding dress “tour” my mum and sister went with me..i was sooooo happy and excited i had a blast!! Well, they did not..also, my mother never believed I would get married, even asked if i was really having a wedding dress!!She thinks it’s all wasted money so i did NOT feel comfortable at all while trying dresses and looking at the price tags. She was the one who set the budget – around 600€ . I felt limited, i admit. They did NOT go with me on my next two dress appointments and i had the time of my life, trying all kinds of dresses (and prices too!) . I was lucky to find “the dress” for 695€ but if i really wanted a more expensive dress i would pay up the difference..in fact that’s what happened. She gave me 600€ and that’s it. I am not ungrateful, mind! I apreciate the fact that she DID help – we’re paying for everything else as well – but i just say be careful. You might not go for the dress you really want because someone else is paying.

Post # 6
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s so sweet of your FMIL! If it were me, I would worry about upsetting my parents by sharing that news too. However, I think you should accept the help from your Future Mother-In-Law because it would make her happy to do so. Maybe I wouldn’t even mention that part to my parents unless it came up somehow. Good luck dress shopping!

Post # 7
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s never too early to go dress shopping–like a pp said, dresses take 6+ months to come in from the designer and then you need alterations. 

That said, I took my Future Mother-In-Law dress shopping with me. I’m not close to my mother, and Future Mother-In-Law has no daughters (and her other DIL didn’t ask her to do anyhing wedding-related). We had fun, she was really excited, and she ended up paying for my dress. She said, “You deserve someone in your life to do this for you.” I almost cried, haha. 

Post # 8
9 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

My Future Mother-In-Law has offered to help out. She doesn’t have any daughters, and she’s really excited. I told her that we were going to try to pay for everything ourselves, but if we needed help with something we’d let her know.

She did slip extra money in my birthday card though and told me to use it for my dress.

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