Post # 31
heputaringonit : Are you referring to my stepson’s mom? If so, she definitely knows how crazy my Mother-In-Law is, but she chooses to ignore it because my stepson loves all the gifts my Mother-In-Law buys for him. However, nowadays, my Mother-In-Law can only get my stepson to hang out with her if she is bringing him to meet up with one of his friends, which typically involves spending a lot of money on an outing, such as Dave and Buster’s or some sort of kids entertainment place.
Post # 32
SeaOfLove : sorry, yes, I was thinking “step” and totally got that wrong. I just can’t get over that she knows she’s crazy yet thinks Mother-In-Law is good for him.
Post # 33
heputaringonit : I don’t completely get it either… I mean, she’s enabling my Mother-In-Law completely by letting her have my stepson because she can still treat Darling Husband like crap, because she still gets to have one thing blood-related to herself without consequence. She’s a master manipulator and controlling. I know she’s unhappy with my stepson starting to develop his own personality – she freaked out to Darling Husband (before we stopped talking to her again) this summer about how much my stepson “has changed and doesn’t like the same things anymore.” He’s 9.
Post # 34
annelise210516 : hey, having recently(-ish) moved to the USA here’s what I know:
– you dont have a US credit score until you have a US credit card. My canadian credit history meant nothing over here.
– you probably need to get a “secured” credit card to start you off, since you don’t have a credit history (though since your hubby is american he might just be able to put you on his card which should also work, and be more convenient)
– after a few months of always having 5-9% usage each month you can pretty quickly have what’s considered a “very good” credit score and open up credit cards, if you feel so inclined. There are several (e.g. the discover card) which includes a monthly credit score so you can keep track as you continue to improve your credit.
🙂 On the other hand, unless you know you want a loan of some sort (car, mortgage, etc) in the next 5-10 years not having a credit score is a good thing when it comes to avoiding credit fraud a la OP’s Mother-In-Law.
Post # 35
amanda1988 : My Mother-In-Law took credit cards out on my younger SIL, who had no credit! It’s still possible 😉
Post # 36
SeaOfLove : oh yeah. That’s pretty incredible, actually. No one would give me an unsecured credit card when I was credit-free, but I assume they’re more forgiving towards 18 year olds in that situation than 25 year olds.
Post # 37
I have no useful advice to contribute to this discussion other than to sympathize with what an awful situation it is to be in! But seeing this conversation did prompt me to check my own credit, where I found a new card that I hadn’t taken out myself, so thank you for the reminder to vigilant about credit!
Post # 38
SeaOfLove : Im sorry but she needs either psychiatric help.. or some time in prison for credit card fraud and identity theft.
Post # 39
Honestly you sound like a really lovely person. You helped SIL sort out the mess, offered to co-sign a lease, and offered your bedroom. Lots of respect to you for going out of your way to help and provide support.
Unfortunately, what she’s doing is criminal. Has anyone in the family reported it? Perhaps you could consult a lawyer and see if you could press charges and mandate counseling/treatment if she is found guilty (sounds like there’s enough evidence, too).
I would take pre-emptive steps for EVERYONE around you, including you and your Darling Husband. Since she does have his ssn, you guys should take this seriously. It might even be possible to change the ssn.
Sending you moral support. This sucks. I’m sorry.
Post # 40
amiryana : Oh no! I hope you figure out what happened! How horrible!
ana2017 : I am one of those people that keep negativity as far out of my life as possible, but having a Mother-In-Law that’s full of negativity… it’s been very difficult. I made the solo decision to cut her out of my life myself (rather than depending on my husband to make that move), so I did back in September. When she started to get a whiff of my distance, she got super in my face and obsessive, so I just called her out on her abusive and controlling behavior. I tell my husband that I can’t have her in my life how she is, but if she ever decides to finally get the help she needs, I will gladly help her along the way. She’s honestly lucky her oldest daughter didn’t press charges.
happyowlbee : My older SIL reported it when it happened to her – when they asked if she wanted to press charges, she said, “anything to get the debt out of my name.” She didn’t have to press charges to get the debt into MIL’s name. I have to take my time with Darling Husband. It’s going to be a bit difficult to get Darling Husband to take all the necessary steps, but I’m working on it.