(Closed) MIL planning her wedding on our anniversary weekend.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, you cannot celebrate your anniversary some other day. That’s why it’s your anniversary.

I can see why you are upset. I am not sure how to get your point across other than telling her that you wn’t be there a you already have plans.

Post # 4
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

it sucks that you wont get to spend your 1st anniversary alone but if she wont budge, depending on your DHs relationship with her you either suck it up and go or you decline with regrets

Post # 5
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I understand why you’re upset and I think you should try to talk to her about it again.  If it’s really important to you and your husband, then you really need ot talk it through and see if she can even change it maybe to a different day on the same weekend?  I don’t know.

However, to play devil’s advocate, you can celebrate it the weekend before or after?  I know it’s not as special, but it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.  My Fiance is in his 3rd year of med school and I’m a teacher, which means that we often have to celebrate holidays on days that aren’t actually the holiday.  However, just because we have to make it work for us doesn’t mean it would work for you.

Good luck!

Post # 6
305 posts
Helper bee

try to incorporate her wedding into your anniversary plans somehow.  if it’s out of town, book a place near where the weddign will be and then do your own thing before and after. it’s her third wedding so i’m sure there won’t be much fanfare, to include rehearsal dinner/showers/bach party/ so it’s pretty safe to assume her wedding will only take a few hours out of your day, tops,  and not the whole entire weekend. 

Post # 7
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I guess I’m a minority: I think you should get over it. Yeah, ok being bummed, I get that I’d probably be too. Question though: are you married on the EXACT day she intends to marry on or is it simply “the weekend”? Either way, I think you can do whatever you want to celebrate your anniversary either before or after and it won’t make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. You’ll still be at a wedding, in the presence of love right? with eachother right? having a grand old time right?

Post # 8
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I can see why you might be upset, but what better way to celebrate your marriage, than to celebrate another couple’s big day? I expect this won’t be the first time in your married life that another event will conflict with your anniversary- it could have easily have been a friend who scheduled their wedding for this weekend. And you can celebrate your anniversary another day- I know couples who have celebrated various holidays (like Thanksgiving) on the day before/after, due to hospital schedules. You can still do something alone on that day which makes it special for you.

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@vmec:  I’m betting it’s not the exact day since OP said her wedding weekend, not the day. OP, if you anniversary is on Sunday but she wants to get married on Saturday, I think you need to let that one go – you don’t need multiple days to celebrate your anniversary.

Post # 10
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Wonderstruck:  & @vmec: I agree with both of you ladies. I also think it isn’t the same day just the same weekend. 

Some battles are worth fighting and in my opinion this is not one of them. Just let it go and enjoy celebrating another happy wedding occasion with your loved ones. 

Post # 11
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It wont make your anniversary any less special. You’ll be spending it together. It sucks, but if she has her heart set on it, try and be supportive.

Post # 12
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m really sorry, but you need to get over it. From the sounds of things, she’s not getting married on the same day as you did and, honestly, what does it matter if she did? You’ll be with your husband on your anniversary, you’ll be with people who love you, just enjoy it!

Post # 13
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Sorry, but you don’t own the day or the weekend for the rest of time.  As you got to choose your wedding date doesn’t she deserve the same priveledge? 


Post # 14
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I’m with @vmec. It really shouldn’t matter this much. Your anniversary is still yours, and honestly . . . if you celebrate one day early or one day late or go on a trip the week after, it really won’t matter. You’re not going to be competing for the day for the rest of your life or anything. This is just ONE anniversary out of what will hopefully be many. Chill!

Post # 15
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We get ONE day.  I think it’s important to put things into perspective.  Let Mother-In-Law be excited about her one day.  And yes, you can celebrate your anniversary whenever.

Post # 16
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe I’m not the sentimental type, but if everything goes according to plan, you will hopefully have 50+ more anniversaries to celebrate together any way you want. For the sake of his family and his relationship with his mother, please don’t make a big deal out of this. Have a great time at her wedding, mark your anniversary with a special gift or some alone time, and move on to next year.

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