(Closed) MIL Pressuring DH to Divorce Me Because of Health Issues – Very Long

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Stop sharing your health problems with your Mother-In-Law, and tell your DH to do the same. She doesn’t deserve to hear any more information on your well-being. She sounds like a total creep! I’m SO sorry for all the health problems you’re experiencing!

Post # 3
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

If his mother convinces him to leave you over a cyst, he was a crap husband to begin with. I’m sure he’s run down, it can be tough being the adult when you’re spouse is sick, but so are you. The actual sick person.

yes it sucks that you’ve had all of these challenges, but none of them are going to impede you in life. He should be grateful about that.

i agree with 

View original reply
ohnatto:  that you should agree to stop sharing your medical info with Mother-In-Law. 

Post # 4
1903 posts
Buzzing bee

Your Mother-In-Law sounds bat shit crazy.

I’m so sorry for all the health issues you have had lately.

Maybe your DH is just upset that you aren’t pregnant if he was coming around to the idea of having a family?

Post # 5
6552 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Mother-In-Law is way too involved in your lives. You’d expect this level of involvement for a 20- and 25-year-old, not 40- and 50-year-olds. You and your husband need to work on establishing some appropriate boundaries.

Post # 6
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

All of this is none of her business. “What’s wrong, you look sick?” Say it’s private. You’re sick in bed and can’t attend a function? Your husband should be saying he doesn’t want to talk about it and change the subject. 

If something is affecting your relationship, stop letting it inside in the first place. 

Post # 7
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

View original reply
milsux:  I agree with PP, it sounds like your husband is supportive and understanding of your health issues and nothing she says will be able to change that. 

It sucks to have multiple problems back to back, but you’ve been together for 5 years – and you’ve only had health issues for the past year.  None of which is a surprise to your husband.  

Don’t let her behavior get to you, people like that thrive off the suffering of others. 

Post # 8
4393 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Your Mother-In-Law is an asshole and UR DH is an even bigger asshole if he decides to leave you when your sick. What happened to in sickness and on health? Ugh…

Post # 9
1113 posts
Bumble bee

All I can say, is that any man who has an ounce of respect for you would tell that woman to take a hike when it comes to your health issues and defend his wife.  

I am surprised she is in your lives, TBH.  I would cut my mother off completely if she talked about my Fiance that way…

Best of luck and speedy healing in your surgeries.

Post # 10
685 posts
Busy bee

how large is this cyst?  i would avoid surgery if possible.  cysts typically dont need to be removed unless they are very large.  more and more surgeries are likely to lead to further complications down the road secondary to adhesion formation.  i would def get a 2nd opinion before proceeding with surgery, unless you feel very certain that it is warranted. 

sounds like an awfully terrible string of bad luck.  and his mother sounds like a miserable person.

really your husband needs to put his foot down – and tell his mother to keep her negativity to herself.  alternately, you all need to distance yourself as much as possible.  her behavior is completely toxic and unwarranted. 

wishing you the best.

Post # 11
787 posts
Busy bee

What she’s saying, does it even make sense? Is this costing any money or is the health insurance paying for it?

Either way, if DH were to leave you it wouldn’t be MILs fault, it would be his.

Hoping he’s just in a mood and you’re worried about nothing with him. If that’s the case and things go back to normal, then stop allowing him to tell people your health problems!

Post # 12
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m just going to come right out and say it. Your mother-in-law is a bitch with a capital C. My fiance has epilepsy. He hasn’t worked since July of last year. I only make 33k a year and have almost 100k in student loans. He doesn’t qualify for disability (though we’re finally filing yet AGAIN). We are getting married in May 2016 and he is having brain surgery in December of this year. If the surgery isn’t successful, he probably won’t ever be able to work, and we might always struggle to make ends meet on my measly income. You know what my mom says? That I’ve found the best man in the world–because I have. He loves me with his whole heart, he treats me like the sun rises and sets on my shoulders, and he stands by me no matter what we are going through. He’s my partner, and when I stand up there in May and promise to love him through sickness and in health, I will know that I mean those vows. Those words have meaning, and they represent a most serious promise to my FI–and your DH meant those words when he said them to you. You know who didn’t promise you shit? Your Mother-In-Law. So fuck her, let your DH recover from the idea that you aren’t pregnant, and then set some serious serious boundaries. You two need to be a united front, especially with your health issues. 

Post # 13
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
milsux:  These are serious boundary issues. Why are you allowing this witch (honestly would use the C word even) in your life? Just because she’s your husband’s mother doesn’t mean you have to have her in your life. You owe her nothing she doesn’t deserve a relationship with you. Also why the hell is your husband not supporting you? I wouldn’t let my own twin disrespect degrade or sabotage my Fiance. It’s not ok that he is still allows this behavior he needs to start consequences cuz clearly just talking doesn’t work with her. My shitty Future Father-In-Law had the nerve to disrespect me & make comments about my health and I cut him out! My fiance doesn’t tolerate it & he’s working on always calling him out instead of being passive.

I’m sick & have an incredible loving relationship. I’m also in a support group where many of the ladies have been sick way longer than me and they have their loving husbands and great marriages. Love is blind. True love doesn’t care about what package it came in. So what if our bodies have more health issues than average- we are so much more than that! Remind yourself & your husband of that.

Maybe remind him by dancing to your wedding song or write something to him or surprise him with his favorite food. Your Mother-In-Law is being toxic so show him pure love- let him realize whose the true problem here!

Post # 14
49 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015



Post # 15
5 posts
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply

I just wanted to tell you that I’m in a situation very similar to yours with my Fiance. Your response to the OP really struck a nerve with me. I loved it. I have several people in my life who are less than supportive, and it really hurts. When I have the time, I’ll share my story, but for now I just want to say thank you.

The topic ‘MIL Pressuring DH to Divorce Me Because of Health Issues – Very Long’ is closed to new replies.

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