MIL religious views and my baby

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
5897 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I wouldn’t over analyze it.  If you only want your immediate family to know when you are in labor then I would either

1) Not call your Mother-In-Law until after it’s over, or 

2) Call her when it happens, but ask her to not tell anyone who’s not immediate family

If you tell her, she may call her church group anyway.  If she does, I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal.  These are strangers, who cares what they know?

Post # 3
Member
3335 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m an athiest. It pisses me off to no end to hear ‘oh sweet dear, I’ll pray for you’. But it literally doesnt hurt me. If they want to pray for me, good for them. It probably makes THEM feel better.

So far, she isn’t pushing things onto you or your child. I think you should stand up if she wants to baptize/take to sunday school/circumsize/etc – things that will physically affect your child. A prayer? Eh. I’d leave it.

edited to remove part of the post that was in reply to a misunderstanding!

Post # 4
Member
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think this is an instance of taking an offer in the spirit it was given despite it not meshing with your personal beliefs. Your Mother-In-Law means well it seems, I would not make this a huge issue. Simply explain something to the effect of ” We will only be telling immediate family when I go into labor so while I appreciate the good wishes your church ladies would like to give, we want to keep this private.” The gesture is meant in a positive manner and I would not take it any other way than wanting the best for you and your baby.

Post # 5
Member
9664 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Just say “Awww, thank you! That is so kind of you.” and then totally forget the conversation happened. You’ll be a bit too busy to let anyone know you’re in labor anyway.

Post # 6
Member
8768 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

1_year_in :  I don’t see this as a big deal, and definitely not worth the bad feelings that arguing about it will cause. Of course you don’t “need” the prayers. I’m completely atheist, so I don’t believe in prayer at all, but come on — what is it going to hurt? Who cares if “strangers” know you’re in labor? There are going to be dozens of strangers in the hospital who know you’re in labor — what if some of them pray for you? It makes no difference whatsoever in your life. It sounds like there might be plenty of legitimate Mother-In-Law things to spend your energy on. This isn’t one of them. I vote Option 1. This is a non-issue.

Post # 8
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

1_year_in :  Hello! I am not religious however I always try to be respected of others beliefs. The more “good vibes” going into the universe the better, right? If it’s really important that no one but immediate family know, maybe you could ask her to wait until after the birth to announce and just have her praying during labor.

In all honesty, I think the family will tell their friends when you go into labor regardless unless you ask them not to answer they’re extremely respectful people.

I believe that this is the way she knows best of how to be of assistance and ensure a smooth day for you a your baby. probably coming from a place of love and joy and excitement for her first grandchild.

Post # 10
Member
3905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

1_year_in :  at this point considering you are prego, and dont need the stress… dont open the can of worms. just say you will do your best to notify her hen the time comes. and then dont. And if she asks why.. you tell her that when you went into labor you totally forgot and it was not a priority, but you appreciate that they wanted to pray…or somwthing like that.

Post # 11
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d just say thank you and then not tell her you’re in labour. If she asks afterwards then just say it wasn’t on your mind at the time.

Post # 12
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t see a problem with telling people you are in labor so they can pray for you, but if you’re not comfortable tell her the truth. I would tell her that you feel that’s very personal and you prefer to tell your close family members before anybody else.

Telling her all about your religious views might cause unnecessary drama or tension. As a soon to be mommy, you have enough to worry about. 

Post # 13
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Just saw your update – if you really want to tell her you’re in labour – and she’s in a different country and you don’t know the church ladies, id probably just let it go and let them pray if they want to. If it makes you really j comfortable then option 2 but you may offend her – guess it depends quite how much it bothers you.

Post # 14
Member
3335 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

1_year_in :  Apologies! Thank you for clarifying. I was thinking you didn’t want to tell HER!

I mean, if you aren’t in the same country, you might be able to get away with #3. Saying you don’t believe in that stuff, stop sending it, etc. It will cause drama, but if youre not in the same country, its not like a ton will change. You might feel better getting it ‘out of the way’ early rather than having to deal with that shit later.

If I were you, I’d probably do #2 and save the drama for something later (as per the 2nd part of my post).

Post # 15
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

1_year_in :  People praying for you aren’t hurting you, I think you’re seriously overreacting. They mean to help you; why not just be humble and brush it off instead of making it a big deal. Taking a stand against church ladies praying for you because prayer is against your own beliefs is actually way more rude than them “forcing” prayer on you. Option 1 all the way!

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