MIL RSVP deadline rant

posted 5 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
4573 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m on team January. Especially given the holidays.

FWIW I also have an AMAZING Future Mother-In-Law but I had a similar annoying moment with her “John doesn’t drink, can you check the venue does alcohol free beer?” John is not a relative. The venue is not BYO and where the venue is alcohol free beer isn’t in vogue. I was like seriously? I told her there were plenty of juices and sodas (we know a lot of non drinkers). As it happened I needed to call the venue and they do do alcohol free beer. So that was all good. I did subsequently find out that John doesn’t like a particular brand… I don’t know what brand the venue do but what am I supposed to do? Get them to change suppliers for one guest? Just annoying…

Post # 3
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I had the same as PP – my meal choices were pork or sweet potato with beef for the evening, and I simply HAD to pick something other than pork because a cousin’s girlfriend we’ve met once (who he’s told us he’s planning on splitting up with, so not a serious relationship) is Jewish. Then when the rsvp comes and she picks pork because she’s not practicing Jewish!

Sometimes you just need to pick the battles. “Oh, that’s an interesting thought, we’ll consider it”, then just continue on with what you decide. A double rsvp deadline sounds like a pain. A lot can change between October and January (health, finances, new jobs and annual leave etc), it’s way too soon for a wedding in April!

Post # 5
Member
3651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

karkar1234 :  did you send out save the dates? i wonder if Mother-In-Law is just anxious to get the word and info out so people can start planning.

Post # 6
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I can not imagine having an opinion on someone else’s RSVP deadline, unless it was because they wanted me to RSVP way too soon, like “please RSVP by next week for our July 2020 wedding.” If she thinks its too late then she can just RSVP earlier then. 

Post # 10
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee

Your MIL’s RSVP deadline was definitely too early.  Sheesh, I bet some guests might not even know if they’d be able to get the vacation time off from work by her deadline!

Post # 11
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

My cousin required RSVPs over six months in advance, and then they ended up having to change the venue and send out new response cards anyway!

My mom was insistent that our RSVP deadline had to be on a Monday because people might need the weekend to decide… even though they will have had the invitation for over a month at that point.

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