Post # 1
UGH this is just a rant cuz i’m PMSing!
We are having a destination wedding in Hawaii in April – Mother-In-Law insists that our RSVP deadline needs to be in late OCT! My fiance and I think it should be january (venue needs headcount in feb)
She thinks that we will figure out our “No’s” early on – but I know we are just going to get a whole lot of false “yes” replies. And the people who are going to RSVP No are more likely to not RSVP at all anyway.
She also said “Oh well the people who said yes can change their mind in January” OK so we are going to have an RSVP deadline then ask everyone again in january if they are coming? WTF?
I love my Mother-In-Law and she is seriously the BESSSSTTTTT Mother-In-Law I could ever ask for but this is just so annoying! This is what my PMS is choosing to focus on tonight LOL.
Luckily my fiance is going to talk to her about this tomorrow 🙂
Post # 2
I’m on team January. Especially given the holidays.
FWIW I also have an AMAZING Future Mother-In-Law but I had a similar annoying moment with her “John doesn’t drink, can you check the venue does alcohol free beer?” John is not a relative. The venue is not BYO and where the venue is alcohol free beer isn’t in vogue. I was like seriously? I told her there were plenty of juices and sodas (we know a lot of non drinkers). As it happened I needed to call the venue and they do do alcohol free beer. So that was all good. I did subsequently find out that John doesn’t like a particular brand… I don’t know what brand the venue do but what am I supposed to do? Get them to change suppliers for one guest? Just annoying…
Post # 3
I had the same as PP – my meal choices were pork or sweet potato with beef for the evening, and I simply HAD to pick something other than pork because a cousin’s girlfriend we’ve met once (who he’s told us he’s planning on splitting up with, so not a serious relationship) is Jewish. Then when the rsvp comes and she picks pork because she’s not practicing Jewish!
Sometimes you just need to pick the battles. “Oh, that’s an interesting thought, we’ll consider it”, then just continue on with what you decide. A double rsvp deadline sounds like a pain. A lot can change between October and January (health, finances, new jobs and annual leave etc), it’s way too soon for a wedding in April!
Post # 4
Update: My fiance talked to her this morning and sucessfully convinced her to come to our side! Hooray!
Post # 5
karkar1234 : did you send out save the dates? i wonder if Mother-In-Law is just anxious to get the word and info out so people can start planning.
Post # 6
I can not imagine having an opinion on someone else’s RSVP deadline, unless it was because they wanted me to RSVP way too soon, like “please RSVP by next week for our July 2020 wedding.” If she thinks its too late then she can just RSVP earlier then.
Post # 7
catskillsinjune : The save the dates were sent in early June. We have a ton of info on the wedding website. Seriously – my wedding website is probably one of the most detailed ones I’ve ever seen. LOL. Plus most of our closest friends and family have already booked rooms/plane tickets.
She really just wants to know who isn’t coming (as do I, but i’m willing to wait for accuracy)
Post # 8
karkar1234 : yeah then she’s just crazy lol
Post # 9
catskillsinjune : Haha crazy but I love her 🙂
Post # 10
Your MIL’s RSVP deadline was definitely too early. Sheesh, I bet some guests might not even know if they’d be able to get the vacation time off from work by her deadline!
Post # 11
My cousin required RSVPs over six months in advance, and then they ended up having to change the venue and send out new response cards anyway!
My mom was insistent that our RSVP deadline had to be on a Monday because people might need the weekend to decide… even though they will have had the invitation for over a month at that point.
Post # 12
A bit of an update- we made our RSVP Deadline Jan 5 for our April 6 wedding (Still pretty early but I had to fight to get that!) After the Deadline we still have 60 people out of 190 who have not responded (Of course – its so early!)
Mother-In-Law texted me last night and says “So-and-so said that standard ettiquete for destination weddings rsvp date is 6 weeks before”
LOL YES Mother-In-Law, I KNOW! hahaha. I just responded “Well good thing we didnt ask for the RSVPs in November!”