- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
I have a love/hate relationship with my Mother-In-Law.
First off and biggest issue is that she and her entire family are DEVOUT catholics in every sense of the word. My Fiance is catholic but not so much so. We have not waited until marriage for sex, use contraception, etc etc. She knows full well that I do not agree with her style of bringing up her children (swoddling but also quite cold and distant…not very loving…puts God above all else). She once told me a few years back that if any of her kids turned out gay that she would disown them. I told her then and there that she was a bad mother then and no one could call themselves a fit parent with that attitude. This makes me sound like a huge bitch but the way she treats her kids, including my Fiance, is very hurtful to see. He is 1 of 5 and they are a very tight-knit family, which I respect. Father-In-Law is a beautiful person inside and out and I adore him. VERY loving towards his kids and even to me, treats me as his own child.
Fiance and I have been engaged since January 2013. No congratulations from his mother, nothing. She expected us to get married in Mautirius (they are Mauritian) even though Fiance has lived here for 13 years and calls Australia his home and has no interest in going back any time soon. The second we told her that we were getting married in Fiji you could just see the colour drain from her face. Ever since then she has just DRAGGED her feet with everything.
She INSISTS on doing the STDs, invites, thank you cards etc. She is a talented card-maker so I accept and thank her. It takes her 6 effing months just to make the cards and get them ready when I know full well that she has previously made invites for other events in like a week. I had to ask he almost daily what is going on with the invites and they have only just yesterday been sent out after so long of people asking what the details were as obviously it is something that needs months of planning for people to come.
She is refusing to help out financially at all as it is in Fiji (not her exact words but it is implied) but if we were to get married in Mauritius they would pay for the entire thing with no cap on the budget. I never asked for any financial help but if it is offered then that is very nice and I’m grateful. But just the idea that she thinks she could dangle money in front of us and we’ll come running? No thanks.
These seem like small things but after 5 years of being with SO it gives you an idea of how petty she is and how passive aggressive she is. She manipulates all of her children to be her personal chauffer (she doesn’t drive…wtf!?) and will consistently ask my Fiance to travel from our house, 15 minutes away from their house, to go and get her just to take her up the road to go to the grocery store. Are you kidding me?
She kicked a HUGE stink when we announced that we would not be buying a house in the same neighbourhood as them as we are building quite a large house and needed a more affluent area for it. Also, I hate that area and where it is situated, and I didn’t feel I needed to explain my reasons. But suddenly Fiance and I are the spawns of satan because (unlike his sistersw) we didn’t want to build 2 blocks away from them. TWO BLOCKS. We want to build in an estate that is 25min drive away from them and she went nuts. Put my foot down. That was the end of that.
We had christmas at our house. Christmas to me is very important and is a family-only event. No friends or anything. Just family and SO’s. Well, who the hell shows up at my door on christmas night for dinner? Family friends that my SO and I effing hate. 5 of them. Mother-In-Law invited them. I was ropable. They stayed at our house until 2am the next day. WTF is wrong with people it’s christmas night go and be with your own familes!
The latest in the chronicles is that I found out she had sent invites to some random friends of hers in France (?!?!?!) without even asking me or telling me and her reasoning when I confronted her was that she knew they wouldn’t come. WELL I’VE JUST RECEIVED AN RSVP FOR AN ENTIRE FAMILY OF THEM. People I’ve NEVER MET. UGH.
At the same time, she found out that we will be getting married outside and by a celebrant and NOT by a priest in a catholic setting. She freaked out and almost refused to come and it’s “not a real marriage if it’s not done by a priest”. I snapped and told her that it is an even realer marriage than if a Priest did it as I would rather be married in the eyes of the law than in the eyes of a God I did not believe existed. And told her that whilst I was at it, I may as well let her know that our children will not be getting baptised catholic as I think it’s a hateful religion, nor will we be teaching them about it as is our choice and right. She almost fainted and I must admit I was kind of enjoying the look on her face when she realised that she had lost control of her son to such a sinner such as myself.
If I have made spelling mistakes please excuse them…I am typing quite fast and my nails are way longer than I’m used to haha.
Please tell me I’m not the only one with a psychotic Mother-In-Law.