(Closed) MIL stories give me your most abusrd

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Kandiss16:  “they are having a baby 9 months after their wedding day” to people at our engagement party…word got back to me “whattttt?????????!”

Post # 18
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

Right after we got engaged she wanted to know all about our wedding plans. One of the first things she asked me was how much my father was going to pay. My parents are divorced and my dad has another family now. I told her I don’t think he’ll be paying anything and we are going to have an affordable wedding. She hasn’t asked about it since. My mom doesn’t really have any money either. I didn’t grow up with money so none of this fazes me but I guess my practicality has sucked all the fun out for her or something (my boyfriend’s family is still middle class but they have a lot more than my family does and she likes to spend recklessly and show off).

She paid an exorbitant amount of money for my FSIL’s barbie dream wedding. That marriage lasted less than a year and a half. Her expecting me to have a wedding that costs more than 4 years of college might not be absurd to others but it is definitely absurd to me!

Post # 19
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m on modified bed rest at the moment which means I cant really do anything so Mother-In-Law has been dropping by once a week to cook a few meals and have a quick clean and basically keep me company. I have been really enjoying getting closer to Mother-In-Law but last time she came she did a “feng shui” number on my house. Moved all the buddahs so they were looking out the doors, all the pictures so they were not looking out the doors, put away the cast iron chinese lion that we recieved as awedidng gift because “its teeth are sharp and they will harm the baby” I was having an especially bad day for morning sickness as well and just sat there in disbelief. DH came home and put everything back for me that night thank god!

Other things included telling me I HAD to have a wishing well after I had already told her no wishing well and then proceeding to tell everyone at my bridal shower to “just give her money anyway, it’s ok i will just bring something to put it in” (FI and I both feel very strongly on this subject).

Telling me that both of my “bleeding episodes” during this pregnancy have been due to us moving furniture around in the house (I of course was not helping move this furniture but it’s apparently something you shouldnt do when you’re an old chinese wife).

various other bits and pieces along the way. I do actually really love my Mother-In-Law. She’s just a lot of hard work sometimes…

Post # 20
Member
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

When we were wedding planning:

Mother-In-Law: Who is your flower girl?

Me: We aren’t having one. There are no girls we are close enough to.

Mother-In-Law: What about Courtney?

Me: Who is Courtney?

Mother-In-Law: My step sister’s little girl. She should be in the wedding. She would love to feel included.

DH: No. We don’t even know her.

Mother-In-Law: You’ve met her! Besides, she is family.

DH: Yeah, like, one time. (It is crucial to note they didn’t even show up to the wedding)

Mother-In-Law: Ok what about Paul? He should be an usher. He loves you!

DH: Haha mom I haven’t seen him since he was a little boy (he is now like 18)

Mother-In-Law: Well I think he would really like it since he likes you so much. His feelings are going to be hurt.

DH: Yeah, no, he probably doesn’t even remember me mom. (it is crucial to note, yet again, that these people didn’t show up either because their yearly boat trip was more important lol)

Post # 21
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

My Mother-In-Law is by no means rude and I really do love her…but she does ask me odd questions sometimes…

The first time I went to their house for dinner:

“Can you spell and define alchemy?”

After I did both she said:

“ok, that’s good.”  

Post # 22
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My Mother-In-Law is completely terrible.  So much so that DH and I dated for 4 years and were 2 weeks away from our wedding before he introduced us.  I am grateful for that.

Besides insinuating that my family is rich (we’re not), that DH and I “have money” (we do not), she has accused us of stealing money from his sister (we have not) after we provided her a place to live and food to eat after his mother kicked her out.

She also didn’t wish DH a happy birthday this week for some reason.  Not via phone, text or facebook.  Her inconsiderate nature and lack of ability to function in the real world infuriates me.  My husband deserves so much better, and my future children do, too.

Post # 23
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh gosh, where do I start?

When Fiance and I were living together for the summer after our first year of dating (he just finished college, I was entering my senior year, so we wanted to have a summer together) I said I wasn’t comfortable with his parents staying on the pull-out couch for the long weekend and asked Fiance to suggest they get a hotel room.  It was a tiny one bedroom and I’m a very shy, introverted, private person.  Future Mother-In-Law told Fiance that I was keeping her from seeing her son is his own apartment and had no right to keep him from her.  I was paying half the rent.

After I became vegan, she suggested that we all go to a farm to see how nicely the cows were treated because  that would convince me that drinking milk was fine.

She forgot three or four times where I work.  I work at one of the largest, most well-know museums in the country.  There’s a movie about it.

When Fiance asked if I could come on a family vacation, she said she wouldn’t be against it but I would have to deal with my “food issues” on my own.

She demanded to know how much my parents were planning to spend on our wedding, then suggested that instead of a wedding they pay off my student loans.  When I explained no one wanted that, she said that if I come in under budget they should give me the rest of the money.  Because, you know, my parents are totally going to write me a check for no real reason.

She told me that planning to use the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program for my student loans was not acceptable and I needed a “real plan” to pay them back.

After grilling me on religion and talking a ton about how important it is, I was told that it was terrible that my parents did not include religion in my upbringing and that everyone needs god in their life and that religion is important to answer the questions that science can’t. Fiance is a physicist and not religion at all. Plus, they spend every summer weekend at their lake house, so it’s not like they’re going to temple or church all the time!

She e-mailed EVERYONE she knows and put it in her temple’s newsletter when Fiance got his master’s degree, even though he’s in a PhD program and the master’s is considered something you just happen to get along the way.  She didn’t tell anyone when we got engaged.  Her excuse was that Fiance should tell the family because it’s something he did.

After telling her repeatedly that we were very set on getting married in Massachusetts, she called and made an appointment for us to see a wedding venue next to their lake house in upstate New York.

When I introduced her to my friends at our engagement party, even though I said “This is Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law, FI’s parents” the first thing she said EVERY TIME was “Our claim to fame is being [FI’s name]’s parents!”

When talking to Fiance for about the third time about my student loans and how the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program was irresponsible, she accused me of getting a government bail-out.

 

Hopefully reading all of this makes bees going through something similar feel less alone!

Post # 24
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ha, my Future Mother-In-Law is really sweet, but a bit scatterbrained. Case in point:

I had semi-emergency surgery a few months ago, and Fiance filled her in as to what was going on. A week later she calls him (I was still pretty out for the count at that point), and I overheard part of the conversation:

Future Mother-In-Law: Aww, and how is *garbled phone noise* doing? I miss her.

{{Cue me being touched that she asked about me since I was still feeling crappy}}

Fiance: Oh, she misses you too! And she’s doing better, but she’s still barking at that dog that comes by our window.

Yup. Asked about our dog. I can still feel the love when I think about it.

Post # 27
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@megz06:  LOVE this! why do they always act like these other ppl’s feelings will be hurt when those other ppl don’t even barely remember the ppl getting married.  they should be honest- I want to do this to show off.  or I made a big fuss about you being in my sister’s daughter’s wedding (without you even knowing), so now I either have to put some of her kids in your wedding or eat crow.  I don’t like eating crow so just put ppl you don’t know in your bridal party please.

Post # 28
Member
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@OldMrsMcDonald:  …is my  mother related to your MIL? We have been together something like 3ish years and I’ve only subjected Fiance to her ONCE.

My mother chooses not to work, and therefore doesnt have much money laying around. I’ve found out through the grapevine that she likes to follow up her comments bitching about being broke with talking about how we “have money.”

Case in point: we ONCE went to a yacht club for the evening with FIs uncle. Once. Two years ago. Across the country from where we live now. To this day, I have people tell me that after complaining about a) money or b)me not responding to her every text, she’s said “but I guess they’re too busy hanging out at the yacht club.”

View original reply
@Kandiss16:  Good lord, that sounds like something my mother would say. She isnt contributing to the wedding (because I dont want the drama attached to it), but in general I am VERY careful not to mention how I spend my money…because then, when she asks for it and I tell her no, she’ll come back with “well maybe you’d be able to help YOUR MOTHER if you didnt buy that new purse 4 months ago!”

View original reply
@Shkragoldfish:  Oh. she’s a peach. I’m keeping a Word document to track her crazy.

Post # 29
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

My Fiance called my Future Mother-In-Law to tell her we got engaged, she seemed happy… until she saw the picture I posted on FB (a picture of the ring). She EMAILED MY Fiance AND SAID: “She posted that just to rub it in my face.”

Um… WHAT. I cried after I saw that… I felt like she was turning something wonderful (our engagement) into something horrible, that I should be ashamed of. I had a hard time wearing my ring after that… every time I looked down at it, I felt like I didn’t deserve it/shouldn’t have it. My Fiance was heartbroken, and really angry and his mom for a long time. 

A couple of months later, my Fiance asks her whom she would like us to invite, and she said “I don’t care.” OK then… So we start planning the wedding, and she just emailed him the other day with a list of 12 people she wants us to invite.  I wanted to reply to the email with, “Oh, so are you done sulking and pouting like a f*cking brat?” 

Ok, ok, one more:

For Christmas, she bought EVERYONE ELSE a present (her two other sons, her daughter-in-law, her son-in-law, and the two kids she babysits,) and looked at my Fiance and said “I didn’t get you anything, hahaha.”

… She really didn’t.

My heart broke for my Fiance. She’s such a cold hearted, rusty, c*nt rag.

(My Fiance helps her with her business, she calls him sometimes in the middle of the night frantically and he fixes her website and other things for her… if anyone should have gotten a gift, it was the Fiance.)

OOOOK, one more:

I was in the hospital for a week, and had to have emergency surgery. My Fiance stayed with me the entire week (he’s so wonderful) and his mother called while we were there.

Was she asking how I was doing? Nope.

She was complaining about her other sons (my FI’s brothers) to my Fiance. For about an hour.

Did she EVER ask how I was doing? Nope.

Last one:

We live in CA, she lives in NY… we only fly out there once a year to visit. When we leave, from visiting her, she makes us take a taxi to the train stop that is 5 mins from her house.

She is very physically capable of driving, she’s not handicapped in any way. She’s just an inconsiderate b*tch.

Sorry, I could keep going for days:

One time, while visiting her, I was really sick. I needed some NyQuil, or Tylenol. We didn’t rent a car for that visit, so my Fiance asked his mom if we could use her car, to go to the pharmacy. She said no. 

She said, “I have some baby Benadryl in the bathroom. It’s expired but it should still work.” 

WHAT????

Luckily my FI’s uncle was visiting, and he graciously let us take his car to the pharmacy.

Post # 30
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My Mother-In-Law can absolutely drive me nuts when she is around her own family. It’s like all of a sudden she has a surge of confidence and NO filter! Also, FI’s family is French-Canadian and I really believe it’s something innate, but they speak SOO loudly! When I am sitting next to them just talking, it feels and sounds like they are yelling. It’s hard to get used to at family events. Especially since my family is more on the quet side.

She will usually say things when I’m across the room from her so that everyone will turn and stare…which I HATE because I hate all eyes on me. “WHY WOULD YOU WEAR HEELS LIKE THAT, THEY ARE SO TALL!” I know it’s not terrible, but i hate it. hahaha

But anyways, a few weeks ago at one of her family cookouts she grabbed my Fiance and looked at me “MY BABY, MY BABY, YOU’RE STEALING MY BABY!!! MY BABY!” Everyone was looking. I was mortified. She did this FIVE TIMES!!! Finally I said, YUP, I am!!!

In the beginning of wedding planning she asked if FI’s brother’s wife could invite her parents to the wedding. She didn’t want her to feel left out. A. she is married into the family therefore HALF of the people attending our wedding are her family. B. I cannot stand her parents/hardly know them. C. My parents weren’t invited to her wedding…and if they were I would have thought it was SO weird! THEN she proceeded to ask if FI’s sis in law could get ready with me and my bridemaids the morning of the wedding and take the limo over with us. hmm let me think. No.

 Other than that it’s a ton of talk about her being a grandma, and she will adopt a grandchild if she has to. Relax lady, we aren’t even married yet!!! And no, you cannot adpot a grandchild!

Post # 31
Member
1682 posts
Bumble bee

“You guys need to think about having a baby so I can be your live-in nanny. You’re going to have to build a big house for all of us, so we can get your grandmother out of that nursing home and get her a private nurse so she can live with us too.” 

I’m 21, we’re not engaged yet, I’m still in school and we live in a TINY apartment. Where the hell she gets these ideas, I don’t know. 

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