MIL threatening to sue DH and myself

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 62
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee

lilsistam:  Sounds like you guys are confident and set on your position then – I hope everything works out for the best! 

Post # 63
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee

Soon2bmrs1:  Having the status of “mother” doesn’t erase the history of verbal abuse (talking down to him, berating and threatening him) and the ways she’s taken advantage of her son (emotionally and financially) that have damaged their relationship and personally hurt him. He’s not obligated to enable and tolerate her shitty behavior because she’s family. Would you advise OP’s husband to give the money to a friend that treated him this way? I don’t think so.

Public transit is almost never as convenient as a private vehicle. Why is someone who has had three at-fault accidents in one year entitled to a car? It’s safer for everyone if she takes the bus or walks.

Post # 64
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

lilsistam:  after reading all your updates, I stand by my position that she should be getting a bus pass, not a new car!

Post # 65
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If she is threatening to sue you, I wouldn’t continue to have verbal conversations. I would insist until the suit is dropped, only written communication take place. She can contact your lawyer. Protect YOURSELF.

Post # 66
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

lilsistam: Ha!  That’s funny that she’s 51, everyone is concerned about this “poor old widow”.  I’m 47!!!!!!

Post # 67
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You’re doing everything I would have done. I’m so sorry you’re in this position, but I’m glad you’re not budging or feeding into her bullshit. Good luck!

Post # 68
Member
3463 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Child…

I would buy her a shiny new bus pass every month until I exhausted the the value of the couple thousand dollars that the Dad paid when he was making the payments for that one year. And then write her clean out of my life.

Post # 69
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee

I only read some of the replies… but my perspective is this: your issue is not one of legal rights etc. It’s a family issue. In your DH’s position, I would sit down with mom, talk to her calmly, give her a hug, and try to figure out what she needs. She seems to be struggling financially, either because of her small income or money-mismanagement (probably both). Your Darling Husband should be helping her with both aspects. I would make a financial plan with her, and if she needs some money for a car or whatever, I would give it to her, even if it cut in to my fun money, savings, whatever, on the condition that she act responsibly with that money. Don’t think of it as charity, think of it as a moral obligation to help your parents.

Post # 70
Member
22 posts
Newbee

…I think you have no moral obligation whatsoever to help parents who have been verbally and emotionally abusive. 

Post # 73
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

anonladygrace:  the problem is that she’s not a safe driver.  It’s nit just a car, it’s insurance costs and worrying she will kill someone the next time she gets behind the wheel.  There is public transport.  That’s a more appropriate for of getting around for an unsafe driver without the money or willingness to pay for a car. 

Post # 74
Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

lilsistam:  Wow what a crazy story. I think she’s a hazard to people driving and to their passengers. I understand that we all make poor choices driving for whatever reason (I remember I was crying in the car once after a horrible day and turned where I wasn’t supposed to and felt really stupid and horrible about it. No accident, though. Just could have been very bad.) but if she’s had 3 accidents in the past year, I would be a little concerned. So sorry you guys had to go through that. Hope all is well.

Post # 75
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Besides she’s had all these years to go earn some marketable skills but hasn’t.  She sounds mentally ill. 

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