Post # 1
My husband and I recently went under contract on a house and we don’t close until October. So long story short, we split the cost of a storage unit with my in laws and my husband and I intend to clear out our things from the unit because we no longer need it after we move into the house. My in laws also want to clear out the unit and sell some of their furniture. Also, my SIL has a huge couch and armoire in the unit and she has never contributed to the cost of the unit and those are the largest things. So now my Mother-In-Law said since we now will have a four bedroom house that we need to store my SIL’s couch and armoire in an empty room because we are not going to fill those rooms. Honestly, I don’t want to store my SIL’s furniture because I do have plans for those rooms and my SIL is in her 30s and has her own place and is perfectly capable of getting her own storage unit. It is just so strange that my Mother-In-Law demanded that we store her furniture and didn’t even ask and didn’t ask if we had plans for the rooms in the house we are buying. My husband doesn’t want to store his sister’s furniture either. I just am wondering if anyone has had a similar experiences with in laws?
Post # 2
If you want to take the softer approach “MIl, we have plans for each of the rooms and we just will not have space to store a couch for SIL”
Post # 3
“NO” is a complete sentence. Your husband needs to speak up too.
Post # 4
zzar45 : Exactly! My husband is going to tell her no and his sister that he is not storing her furniture. It was hard to tell her no in the moment because she was getting upset about it. The entire situation was so odd.
Post # 5
Try not to let it bother you and don’t over think it, you’re being completely reasonable! violetmaple :
Post # 6
Absolutely ridiculous. And you DO NOT need to give her a reason for saying no.
Post # 7
Is your mother in law under the misapprehension that when you and your husband were house hunting, you chose a home with additional bedrooms so that you can store crap for all your relatives? Because I can pretty much guarantee you that mother in law will also want you to store whatever items she doesn’t manage to sell. After all, you can just put them in the same room as your sister in law’s bigass armoire and extra bed, right?
They’re assuming too much here and this furniture storage issue will become part of an overall pattern unless you and your husband clearly and firmly draw your boundaries. Otherwise you’ll soon be hearing Aunt Mildred is coming to visit for the Christmas holidays, I told her she’d have more room staying at your house- you can set up sister in law’s bed for her, she’ll only be visiting for three weeks and I told her you wouldn’t mind at all.
I cringe for you Bee, I’ve had my share of pushy relatives and dealing with them has been quite the work in progress.
Post # 8
crustyoldbee : I’ve been married 5 years now and I haven’t really had any issues until now. I noticed that she is getting pushier than ever now and I don’t remember her being that way when I first was married. I am starting to cringe myself. Luckily my husband is not going to tolerate it either.
Post # 9
Let me just say that your Mother-In-Law is completely out of line, she is definitely pushing boundaries. But, I don’t agree with other bees who are saying just say no without an explanation. That sounds good on an advice board, but in reality of someone asks you something of this nature, and you just say “no”, it sounds rude af.
Sometimes, it’s fine. Do you want to go to Red Lobster? No. That works. But for a request like this, you can just say I will not be able to do that Mother-In-Law, we have plans for that room. You don’t have to be specific, you don’t need to give her anything to refute, you can just say that. Or, of course you can have your husband just say no.
This is coming from someone who has been very blunt with my ILs. They don’t like me really. Lol. They are never rude or disrespectful, mainly because they know I won’t tolerate it. But, they are not warm to me like they are to the other daughter in laws in the family. I promise I never cared, but now that I have a child, I regret not trying to be more diplomatic with them. It’s a lot of women in my husband’s Family, and I knew I wasn’t winning any fans, but I’m the type to never lose sleep about shit like that, but it’s different when/if you grow your family. I say all of this to say that sometimes the advice the bees give is harsh, and I wonder how many of them actually take it. Meanwhile they are sending someone off to be rude AF, and they are busing polite and kind IRL
So, never allow yourself to be a doormat or a pushover, but also delivery is everything IMO.
Post # 10
Mil, that doesn’t work for us. Our home is not a storage unit, it is our home and it’s purpose is to meet our needs not anyone else’s.
I understand where zoraneale : is coming from but here is the problem with that logic.
Your husband is the one that needs to stand up to his family. Why? Because his family wouldn’t decide to dislike him as they are his family. The wife shouldn’t be the one to stand up to husbands family because I agree they would start to dislike her on some level. The rule is, your family your problem. Husband can tell his mother the above phrase and deal with it directly. He can say it in whatever way he wants to as he knows his family best. It also creates a united front to his family. If he is standing up for his wife his family won’t get away with boundary stomping bullshit and most likely will stop doing it.
Post # 11
I guess I don’t see the problem? Just tell her no. “Sorry Mother-In-Law but we have plans for each of our rooms which is the reason we bought this house. You guys will need to either keep the storage unit or make other arrangements.”
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2025 - City, State
“That will not be possible. SIL needs to make other plans.”
Post # 13
starfish0116 : I think it’s fine for OP’s hubs to tell her Mother-In-Law no, we have plans for those spaces or no, that won’t work for us.
But, I definitely would not tell Mother-In-Law and SIL what they have to do, as in you will need to keep the storage unit or . . .
He would be asserting a boundary while pushing up against their boundaries and reinforcing the sense of the whole thing somehow being OP and her hubby’s problem.
Husband’s responsibility is to set a firm limit: no, we will not store your stuff. Note how it’s about the behavior of OP and himself only. He’s not suggesting what Mother-In-Law and SIL should do. That’s their problem to solve.
If hubs wants to soften it by clarifying that they have already made plans for the rooms, fine. But, all engagement on the topic must end right there.
A PP is right. This is a camel’s nose under the tent game. Cave now, and before long, you have an entire camel in your tent.
The other reality about people like Mother-In-Law is that they are quite resourceful. Once it sinks in that they getting nowhere, they find someone else to manipulate.
Post # 14
This doesn’t need to be a whole conversation or back and forth issue. “That’s not happening.”
I had a mattress that was in storage, not being used at the time and my in laws had someone moving in and there was some brief wondering if my mattress could be used by this person. All I said was “That’s not happening.” End of conversation.
Come back and let us know what happens when your husband gets back to her and says no. All of their emotions and opinions after the No are their issue. Don’t give it any of your time or attention.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
I agree with everyone else. It’s not an issue. It’s just a hard NO.