(Closed) MIL wanting to be referred to as "Ma" by grandchildren?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: MIL wanting to be referred to as "Ma" by grandchildren?
    Weird. : (130 votes)
    35 %
    I'd be ok with it. : (35 votes)
    9 %
    I would not be ok with it. : (157 votes)
    42 %
    Whatever she wants, it doesn't really matter. : (52 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    11744 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @nickels:  Yeah. Ma is like one of the first things babies say!  My husband calls his mom ma so I would hate it.  My husband kind of jokingly calls his dad Pops now (he didn’t call him this growing up) and my Father-In-Law wants to be referred to as pops.  Neither Darling Husband nor I have an issue with this.  I think it’s because pops isn’t something a baby is going to mutter as one of their first syllables.  If he wanted to be called Da, we’d prob have an issue. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    11744 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Jess1483: Lol. My Mother-In-Law didn’t seem upset by it at all, especially once none of us could remember the right way to pronounce it like 5 seconds after she said it haha. Poor thing!  

    Post # 34
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    My little guy said “Ma” first. No way I’d even want to have to wonder if he meant someone else than me. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    4141 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I wouldn’t bother me because I would never call my own mother Ma or have my kids call me Ma. That just isn’t a term I’ve ever used. Mom and Mommy are mine, Ma for someone else who requested it, I’d be ok with it.

    Post # 36
    Member
    4282 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Not a fat chance in heck will my kids be calling anyone any variation of mom but me.

    Post # 37
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Huh. At first I was going to say it’s weird, but then I realized that we all called my great grandmother Ma.   I don’t think we ever confused our mothers with her in terms of relationship. 

     

    If it bothers you, maybe tell her that you think it’s too disrespectful/harsh sounding and that if she’d like to refer to herself as that it’s fine, but you’re going to stick with Grandma for now.

    Post # 38
    Member
    7646 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @nickels:  I would find it weird. I don’t know why grandparents have to be such sticklers for what their grandkids call them. The mom names are for me only, but ma is just weird in and of itself.

    Darling Husband had to call one of his grandparents Papa and Nana becuase they refused to be called grandparents since they just had a daughter who is only 4 years olders than my Darling Husband. He found it awkward and would slip up every now and then, and he would get a stern talking to about striectly calling them Papa and Nana.

    I think it is awful to do that to a child like that.

    Post # 39
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I wouldn’t be ok with this. Ma is reserved for the MOTHER of the child. NOT the grandmother. Your Darling Husband & You both see it as weird so he needs to tell her it’s too close to Mama and it is not happening so think of something else or let the kid pick a name eventually.

    Post # 40
    Member
    3683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Not cool!  In certain regions of the country, “Ma” is a commonly used name for one’s own mother.  My dad is from New York, and that’s what he called my grandmother.  I would never, ever call her that myself, and would not let my mom or Mother-In-Law be called “Ma” by my child.  

    Post # 41
    Member
    659 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I called my grandma “ma”. I would never have called my own mom “ma”. To me “ma” means grandma. 

    I don’t think it’s that weird. My sibilings and I didn’t start off by calling my grandma “ma” it just sort of happened overtime. I wouldn’t stress about what they call her because they might come up with their own name anyways.  

    Post # 42
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @MrsWBS:  I started calling my Dad Papa in high school, and that’s what we call him now (I’ve always also used Dad, but generally Papa to his face). It seems an easy transition to my child. But If I’d called him Papa growing up, I wouldn’t want my child to use that title.

    Post # 43
    Member
    2807 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    oma is grandma in german. you could bring that up as well?

    Post # 44
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d find it weird and I wouldn’t like it either, given you said that it’s not a cultural/language thing.

    Only exception in my case that’s okay is I call my paternal grandmother “ma-ma” – because in Cantonese that’s what it is, and it’s intoned completely differently from the “mama” that means mother.  In fact, it sounds more like “maamaa” – so I think that’s okay.

    But I won’t run into this problem because SO’s mom is Serbian so she will be Baba, which I’m cool with. 😛

    Post # 45
    Member
    7430 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I wouldn’t be okay with it because I think it would be confusing for a baby/young child. It sounds too much like “mom”.

    Post # 46
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I wouldn’t like that either.  Ma is what I call my mom.  My mom’s parents were Pepe and Meme to all of us grandkids (9 of us).  When the first great grandchild came along in 2007, her mom’s parents were meme and papa.  Too often “meme” would be called out and the two were both answering.  To avoid confusion, the little one started calling her great grandmother “old meme” (nobody told her to, she just did it on her own).  She was scolded at first for calling her old, but my meme loved it  and it stuck.  Now all 6 great grandchildren call her “old meme” which I think is cute.  But no way in hell, ma is like mom and that is a title only you deserve, In My Humble Opinion.

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