(Closed) MIL wanting to be referred to as "Ma" by grandchildren?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: MIL wanting to be referred to as "Ma" by grandchildren?
    Weird. : (130 votes)
    35 %
    I'd be ok with it. : (35 votes)
    9 %
    I would not be ok with it. : (157 votes)
    42 %
    Whatever she wants, it doesn't really matter. : (52 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I don’t think you need to worry about it. My mom wanted to be Grammy with my nieces and nephew, and it came out Mimi (which she LOVES). My SIL’s mom is called Gaga.

    My SO does call his grandmother Ma, though. It’s the first time I’d ever heard it, and honestly I didn’t even think about it being related to Mama until I read this post.

    Post # 63
    Member
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @nickels:  I didn’t read through all the responses, but if this is her first grandchild she may be feeling like she’s not old enough to be called “grandma” names. This is how MANY of my aunts felt– even though a couple of them were in their 60s already! They all came up with names that have nothing to do with grandma. 

    Personally I wouldn’t let her use “Ma” just because when the baby’s first or second word is “mama” I wouldn’t want her saying he said HER name first. 😛 Honestly, the baby is going to call her whatever YOU refer to her as, so you can determine it. When my nephew’s grandmother (who came up with a very non-grandma name) is getting on my nerves I refer to her as “Memaw” because I think it’s the oldest sounding grandma name 😛 

    Post # 64
    Member
    600 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    All I can think of is will Ferrell…. “MA!!!! The meatloaf!!!”

    Post # 65
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    The child will call her whatever you call her.

    If you raise the child saying things like “time to go to grammy’s house” then they’ll call her grammy.  You’ll basically be the one dictating what they call her.

    Post # 66
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    Ma isn’t a big deal.  I like the MeMaw version better, but if she’s already Ma to others in your family this isn’t a biggie.  Mama, Mommy, Mum… Those would be problematic.  

    Post # 67
    Member
    1073 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Weird. I would NOT be okay with it. At. All. If I am the one carrying MY (and my husbands) child in MY womb, there will be no one referred to by my child by any term remotely close to Mom. Ma is way too close. She had her children, now it’s time for her to let you have yours. So rude and inappropriate. I think you should talk to your husband, let him know how you feel about it, and have him break the news to her so that your relationship with her is unharmed.

    Post # 68
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    I would be fine with it because my Mum and uncle called thier grandmother Ma.  I never met my great grandmother, but I grew up hearing about her and she was always referred to as Ma.  That being said, if you’re not comforable with it then I don’t think it would be a big deal to talk to her and maybe have the grandkids call her something else.  It’s your kid after all, so the final decision would be up to you.

    Post # 69
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I guess I’m in the minority because I wouldn’t be bothered. Maybe that’s because my dad calls my mom “Ma” anyway. It would just be normal. But I guess I can see how some would think it’s too close to mom. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I have never heard a person call their mother “Ma” in real life. Therefore, I would not have an issue with my kids calling my mother in law that. 

    As a side note, my grandma was my “Oma” (German heritage) – maybe that’s close enough but yet doesn’t have a mother conotation?

    Post # 71
    Member
    10649 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @colorofmyheart:  +1  Another vote for Oma here 🙂

    Post # 72
    Member
    1369 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

     

    @nickels:  It’s great that she has a name picked out that she wants to be called, but it really depends on what your child wants to call her.

    My mom’s mom wanted to be called grandmother. I decided to call her Memama…starting at about 1.5 years old. Since I am the oldest grandchild on that side, that’s what the other grandkids called her too. My younger cousins shortened it to Mimi.

    I wouldn’t worry about it too much for now and just see how it plays out

    Post # 73
    Member
    982 posts
    Busy bee

    Maybe this is an American thing? But my mum has always been mum or mummy or mumsy and her mother, my grandmother, was always Mumma. So, not much different really. I never really thought of it being an issue but if you think it’s inappropriate then you should voice that concern. 

    Post # 74
    Member
    7642 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Dogsbody92:  I’m Australian and I’ve never heard that! For me (and my kids, and my friends etc) it was Grandma or Nanna (or shortened to Gran or Nan).

    I wouldn’t like Ma or Mumma. Too much like Mum.

    To the OP, I say call Grandma what you want, and your child will probably take your lead anyway.

    Post # 75
    Member
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

    I don’t know. My child calls my own mom “momma” all the time so how could I be bias if she called her other grandma momma as well? She doesn’t do this with her dad’s mom. However, she slips sometimes and calls her nana (her dad’s grandma) momma. But this lady has been helping me take care of her since she was a infant and she still watches her every night that I have to work so I do not get mad about it.

    Post # 76
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Parklands, Quendon Hall

    UK bee here. I don’t know if it’s an indian thing…but we call my maternal Grandmother ‘Mama’, and my cousins call their’s ‘Ma’. Maybe its just random? I think it is partly because everyone calls her that – it doesn’t seem weird to me, but I suppose because I don’t call my mum ‘mama’.

    I can see why it might get confusing if the baby would see it’s grandparents a lot and calling you both ‘Ma’ while its still learning, but if you establish the differentiation early it shouldn’t be a problem. That being said, every family is different and if it really wouldn’t work for you then maybe talk to Darling Husband about it and then Mother-In-Law if he thinks its appropriate?

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