(Closed) MIL wants to add to the guestlist..

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think your proposed solution is great. Just tell her unfortunately the guest list is set.

Post # 4
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If she was the one paying, personally I’d say you should let her add, but a lot of people feel that it is YOUR wedding so you have the final say…I understand that too. Regardless, you aren’t even having friends? Girl stand your ground! Say no politely and hopefully she’ll be understanding once she knows the reason!

Post # 5
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Explain finances, and then suggest (without suggesting) that if she wants to add guests, she’ll have to pay for them.

Post # 6
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If she wants guests, she has to pay all related costs for the extra people.

Post # 7
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Does your venue hold more than 90 people?  Does your Fiance have a big family?  Does your Future Mother-In-Law know these family members?  For me, personally, it wasn’t so much about the budget – but we wanted to know everyone that will be at the wedding.

I think you have the right approach though – have your Fiance talk it over with her and explain your reasons behind the 90-person guest list.

I’ve had so many issues with Future Mother-In-Law about guest list since there is not much family on her side.  My only advice would be to get your thoughts out there as early as possible and work with your Fiance to try and iron out the details.

Post # 8
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I do think it’s common for parents to provide guest lists to the couple marrying, and in many situations (as seems to be the case here, at least on your MIL’s part) it is assumed that they will provide names. It’s possible that her list is going to mirror the family that your Fiance put on his side of the list…but as others have said, step one is to have him talk to her about your numbers.

Post # 9
5284 posts
Bee Keeper

My parents wanted to invite a whole bunch of people and I politely had to tell them that they had to narrow there list down to a few guests only. They at first did not like this but I had to remind them that this is my wedding and not theres (in a nice way of course)

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