Post # 1
My future Mother-In-Law wants to take my dd on a road trip 3 states away and her dad and I aren’t going. (My child isn’t even 2 yet) I told my SO absolutely no— not just for the length of the trip and I know my child but also because neither of her parents will be there. My SO f*ed up and told her yes without asking me and I told him set it straight and talk to his mom about our decision. He says he wants our dd to go. I don’t. I know he already told his mom the situation— now she’s texting me to ask if our child is going this weekend and I feel like she’s just going to start drama bc I know how she is.
Can I just ignore the texts, not open them and avoid the confrontation for my own peace and sanity?
Post # 2
seraphina : Yes, as long as your SO already told her it’s not happening, you do not need to respond to her.
Post # 3
I would tell my husband that if he wants her to go, then he needs to go with her. I would be livid if my husband signed my daughter up to go on a trip without discussing it with me. I think the longest we have ever left our daughter with someone who wasn’t one of us is like 5 or 6 hours, and she is almost 3. I have actually only been away from her one night in my life and that was for my friend’s wedding. (And we were at a B&B about a block away from my house!) I am sure there are many people who are fine with this type of thing, but there are also many who are not!
ETA: Husband needs to say you both decided together that she is not going, or else he will be setting you up for drama.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
That’s very much a “two yes, one no” situation – both of you need to be ok with it in order for her to go, if either one of you says no then it’s a no. If you normally have a good relationship with your Mother-In-Law, I’d text her back and say “I know SO has already told you that it’s not going to work for us to have her go with you and we won’t be changing our minds on this”, if you don’t have a good relationship then don’t reply.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
If he already set it straight with her she shouldn’t even be texting you. Are you sure he did? I would be livid if he said yes without discussing it with me first. I would text her back and said I thought Jim already discussed it with you and we both agreed that we are not comfortable with this idea. There would be no way in hell.
Post # 6
seraphina : Wow, that’s a big ask from your Mother-In-Law.
But yeah, your SO F** up big time. That is a combined parental decision and as a PP said, 1 yes equals no.
I wouldn’t look at the messages (or mark them as read) until you are with your SO, then get him to call his mum in front of you and say, “why are you texting seraphina about the trip? I already told you we have decided we are not comfortable with the trip” If she tries to argue, he can just say “end of discussion mum” and hang up. Make sure it’s in front of you, so you know exactly what he’s saying to her and he isn’t secretly saying “I’m fine with it but Seraphina is being a pain” or something.
Post # 7
That would be a hard no from me. But I wouldn’t totally ignore her text either. Don’t engage, just tell her that your husband will call her back to discuss.
I agree that both parents would have to be on board for something like this or it’s a no go. You don’t need any justification other than you are not comfortable with it.
Your husband should never have thrown you under the bus. I’d be having some serious talks with him about assuming he could make a unilateral parenting decision and presenting a united front to his mother.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2025 - City, State
It doesn’t sound like he told his mom no, but rather that he told her Seraphina doesn’t want their daughter to go. This is a husband problem beginning to end.
I suggest replying something like “I’m so sorry you got dragged into a disagreement between Husband and me. Daughter will not be going on the trip this weekend.” You could add something about “maybe in another year or two” if that’s true, or suggest a day trip if you’re okay with that. Or just leave it. Then deal with your husband. Impulsively agreeing to the plan without checking with you is one thing, but he needed to make it right once the two of you talked and it doesn’t seem that he has.
Post # 10
MollyCatherine : it’s a big bf problem. He’s still at class so I can’t call him rn to discuss it. But future Mother-In-Law is ranting that this is all me undermining our child’s dad and I won’t allow my dd to have a relationship with her. That I don’t trust her. That it’s ridiculous and he has as much right to say yes as I do to say no and he said yes. I’m furious with both of them. Clearly their not thinking about how my daughter will feel for 3 hours in a car and not seeing her mom or dad for a couple days and wondering where we are. Im not putting her through that.
I trusted mil to an extent before this but not now. She’s even threating to have grandparent rights. So what exactly is she saying—pursue legal action?? Um there are no grandparent rights in this state and I’m dd mom who said no to a road trip. What the literal f.
Side note: I’m still super stressed over this, aside from just putting my foot down. Could she try to be vindictive and it hold water if she wanted to?
Post # 11
Time to get your FU binder ready. Once they threaten to take away your kid (which is what grandparent rights are) all bets are off. Get the house CPS ready and have food in the fridge, along with her medical stuff neatly organized in the FU binder. Then respond in a text that you will not be swayed by threats and your Dear Daughter most certainly will not be traveling with her anytime soon. seraphina :
Post # 12
I have a 2 year old and there is NO WAY anyone is taking him anywhere but me and Darling Husband. Is she always this delusional??
Post # 13
Wtf kinda shit is this? Why do they want to take the child away soooo badly? My radar is going off for you. Absolutely no. Dont. Even. Budge. One. Inch.
Post # 14
Seriously, wtf kinda shit is this?!
Post # 15
Threatening to take your child–which is what GPR amount to–is an immediate cut-off, no matter whether your state allows for GPR or not. She threatened to sue for custody of your child. How can you come back from that? And if your boyfriend doesn’t understand the reasoning, how can you come back from that, either? This is legal custody of your baby she threatened to get.