(Closed) MIL, who used to call regularly, suddenly stops–why?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I take any action?
    No, wait for her to call : (10 votes)
    32 %
    Yes, call her : (21 votes)
    68 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Maybe someone said something to her to make her think she’s being a nuisance by calling so often. Not contacting her would reinforce that (or otherwise make it seem like you’re happier without her checking in). However, I don’t see how giving her a call could possibly backfire if you want a warm and positive relationship with her. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @violet25:  Yeah that sounds a little bitter… Maybe she’s looking for a little give and take, since she was the one calling every week for a while (you don’t say how long, but I’m guessing more than two weeks). I wouldn’t get so caught up in worrying about “lowering” myself. This is family, and you’re not trying to protect a public image, you’re trying to make a lifelong relationship work.

    You could always just ask if you can help her with anything, since you haven’t heard from her in a long time and she must have been busy. That could open the door for her to explain. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would give a call and just mention you wanted to check in on how she’s doing since you haven’t heard from her for a few weeks.  Maybe she wants the calls to be a two-way street?  Props to you for getting over her trying to interfere with your relationship! I applaud you for trying to maintain a positive relationship with her. 🙂 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    There is nothing to be gained by not calling her and a lot to gain by calling her.

    By not calling her you encourage any negative thoughts. By calling her you dont give her anything bad to say about you and promote family peace

    Post # 9
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @violet25:  It wouldnt change it. So what do you and your Darling Husband gain by failing this test? what do you gain by passing it? 

    Hopefully with time you wont have to deal with this, but its worth it for a little while to establish family peace. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @violet25:  I’m sorry, OP, these sound like silly games for adults to be playing. I think you’re trying to win the battle in spite of the fact that you will lose the war. Trying to hold out the longest in this game of phone chicken will do nothing to build a stable and mutually respectful relationship between you and your Mother-In-Law for years and years to comeIf you hate the way she behaves, don’t stoop to her level. I don’t mean to be rude, I just think you’re choosing the more stressful path that udoubtedly leads to more bad things to come. 

    The topic ‘MIL, who used to call regularly, suddenly stops–why?’ is closed to new replies.

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