Post # 77
@BuBuBubbles: neither my fiance or I have or have had an “attitude” about any of this. I am simply asking others opinions on if I should be upset or not. And yes, we did ASK her but only because she brought up the traditions previously in the year. It wasn’t like we blind sided her.
Post # 78
@sara5ann: My ILs also offered to host the rehearsal dinner, but they got to pick where it was and pick the menu. We requested a certain location, and they just did what they wanted. It kind of sucked, but hey, who am I to turn down a paid meal for 50 people! I say just let it go.
Post # 79
@FutureMrsHallam: Just to clarify, because I didn’t before, we did not blind side her with asking for her help. Earlier in the year she was educating herself on the traditions of a wedding and this was brought up in casual conversation by her. I still should not have asked, but in my defense, she was aware of the “tradition” but I should have waited for her to offer.
Post # 80
Might I also add that for our beach wedding she picked a long black evening gown that was almost as fancy as my wedding dress and asked me for my opinion. I told her it was a beautiful dress but she may be uncomfortable on the beach in it because the wedding is more casual and the beach is hot. I never told her not to wear it, just gave my honest opinion, she can wear what she wants.
The reason I am bringing this up is because during the vegetarian conversation she stated “I had to change my dress.” Not sure why she brought that up but she did which makes me believe it was a power struggle.
She still offered us the $400 if we would invite my fiances ex girlfriends mother to the wedding as they had already made plans to travel together. My fiance and I discussed it and decided she can just keep the money, we don’t want any money from her and yes she may attend the wedding since plans had already been made and they are best friends.
After typing this, I am realizing the issue about it being a vegetarian meal may go deeper than her beliefs and views on meat.
Post # 81
Etiquette would be if she paid for the whole dinner – she is the host and may choose. However, buying in slightly doesn’t really give her that power. I guess it would depend on if she were actually paying for the whole dinner or not. If yes – then it is her choice (sorry). If you are primarily paying it is yours.
Post # 82
@FutureMrsHallam: I didn’t say any meal – I said dinner. And no, I have never eaten dinner without a meat component. I’m far too fat to be living off salads 😛
I agree she shouldn’t have asked for money but I still don’t think it’s up to someone’s Mother-In-Law to dictate food choices for a measy $400 contribution. OP has already resolved it though.
Post # 83
@MrsPanda99: Haha I think that’s why I AM so fat, I eat so much cheese and pasta – mmmm.