Military Bride to be

posted 2 weeks ago in Wedding Related
Post # 2
2186 posts
Buzzing bee

Showers don’t have to be about gifts – in the UK, they are quite often just about having a good time with friends & family, celebrating your forthcoming wedding.  The people organising it may get a few small items for the bride (usually things like luxury soaps, hand creams, shower gels etc that she can either use in the runup to the wedding or on honeymoon) but the focus is on spending time together, usually over a special afternoon tea.

You could do something like this and specify ‘no gifts’ on the invite.  Or, if people really want to give you gifts, you could just leave them with your mother until you are more settled and able to collect them.

Post # 3
290 posts
Helper bee

It’s bizarre to have a bridal shower when you’ve already been married for months. 

Post # 4
1972 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Just a thought, but chances are in 3-4 years you’ll be moving again anyway.  And will do so many times depending on how long your Fiance stays in the military.  So, at some point in the future, you will be moving things across country.  

If you specifically don’t want to deal with that right now with the wedding, just try to get your mom to spread the word gifts aren’t necessary due to the logistics of your pending move.  

Post # 5
1144 posts
Bumble bee

IMO its inappropriate to invite people to a “bridal” shower after you’re married. If you don’t want to goto the effort of “lugging” the gifts people thoughtfully, lovingly and monitarily brought, then maybe a shower isn’t for you. 

Post # 6
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

call it a house warming


Post # 9
5979 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@lola625:  have you thought about the possibility that guests may bring gifts to your party in February and not send them to the new location so you will be bringing them anyways?

We live out of state from our family and had our wedding in their state. I assumed people would send the gifts (at the very least for the wedding) to our house rather than bring them with them to the wedding but I think we only received one item to our house. The rest we had to pack up and drive back with us.

Post # 10
6023 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@katie1293:  I attended a shower for a kid I know and love. She and her husband married in a quickie city hall wedding that only the parents attended, so that she could go with her fiance to his assignment or have housing if he was deployed. When he returned from the middle east her mother had a “tea” for her and then her father had a reception. She had no marriage ceremony since they were already married. The tea was basically a shower and no one expressed any problems with it. I feel that “rules” are silly when it comes to a couple where one or both of them are serving our country.

Post # 11
4723 posts
Honey bee

You could have a shower before the wedding where the host spreads the word that gift cards would be helpful given your impending move. That being said, I’m pretty sure the military pays for the move.

Post # 12
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

Military spouse here. You might as well make your peace with “lugging” things around. You’ve got a lot of potential cross-country moves in your future. 

Post # 13
10651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
View original reply

My thoughts too. It is seems a rather ungracious stance on OPs part and a bit oblivious too, as if she hadn’t realised that being married to the military is almost certainly going to mean a lot of moving about in the future. And that’s  quite apart from wanting a bridal shower months after being married.
l think she may have rethought judging by her last update though. 

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