Post # 1
Hi all! I have a few questions regarding having an early legal marriage….
My fiancé and I have a wedding date set, ceremony and all, with our families. We have a ceremony venue and reception booked for September 2018. My fiancé, who is military, brought up how we should get legally marriage prior to our actual date for a few solid reasons. I’ll be turning 26 next month, and he is genuinely uncomfortable with me NOT having insurance. And he also picks a new duty station order in May 2018. He doesn’t want to run the chance of the military seeing him as “single” and getting stuck with a new placement out of the country. Therefore, I have a few questions….
ALSO, we are planning on only telling our parents about this early legal marriage.
1. Can we have a legal marriage in a courthouse, and THEN have an OFFICIAL wedding ceremony months later? How does that work having technically two official ceremonies?
2. How does the marriage certificate work? Do we have to get it filled out in the state we are having the later ceremony & reception?
Thanks for reading my post! I’m obviously new at this and am a little overwhelmed! Hahaha
Post # 2
Sure you can do that. BUT, I would let people know this who are coming to the wedding. If it gets out you are already legally married many people will feel lied to thinking that you actually are getting married at your wedding when you actually aren’t. The wedding “ceremony” won’t be anything but a formality. No paperwork involved if you already filled it out at the courthouse. Legally having a wedding ceremony after having a courthouse wedding doesn’t mean anything to the government.
Post # 3
thanks for for the quick response!
Post # 4
You sure can!
I also do not see it as a big deal if you don’t tell anyone besides close, immediately family.
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s a big deal- I certainly wouldn’t feel like I was being “lied to”…that’s odd to me. What you guys do is your business!!
Post # 6
micheleeve1 : When you say two official cermeonies, what do you mean by official? Do you mean legal? No, you cannot have two legal ceremonies. That only happens once. On the plus side this means that there is nothing special you have to do with your marriage lisence. You just file for it with your first ceremony and that’s it.
If you are religious you could make your second ceremony your religious cermeony (depending on the rules in your church). I think this is a really nice option. You can be married in the eyes of the USA but not in the eyes of god, so save the god part for later (which to most religious people is more signifigant anyways, right?).
Or you could just say eff it, have two ceremonies, and not worry too much about whether the second one is legal. I got legally married 2 months before my “wedding” for some practical reasons and I still think of the wedding 2 months later as my actual anniversary date, even though legally it’s not.
A wedding is something that has both important legal and important cultural signifigance in our culture. Occasionally it doesn’t work out well to do both of those parts one one day. It’s fine.
Post # 7
Thanks for the response! I agree, I don’t see it as a big deal if only close family knew about it.
Post # 9
Yep, I meant legal haha. This was super helpful, thank you! I appreciate it.
Post # 10
Personally, I wouldn’t tell anymore you are already married, just make sure it doesn’t get out! My future SIL did something like this. She got preg, than her fiance at the time (my fiances brother) joined the military, and instead of having a regular wedding like they planned they got married at the courthouse so she could have insurance and go with him. However, she wants to do something like what you’re doing, but people aren’t really taking it seriously since they are already married. The majority of out of towners will probably not be going, but if it was their first one I think they would come.