Post # 1
Alright need some wedding bee advice!!
We each have nine people in our bridal party. One of my Fiance groomesmen is my best friend, he’s always been like a brother to me he even calls my mom “mom”. Anyways, so he is in the Army and will be coming home on leave for our wedding. but my question is should he stand up there in his uniform or get a tux like the rest of the guys. He says he doesnt care its completely up to us because its our wedding… but I’m not sure if its disrespectful to not have him in his uniform. I support him 100% and am even thinking about instead of the guys wearing a flower corsage to wear a yellow ribbon for the troops overseas. But he says he doesnt want the attention on him for him being the only one up there in a different outfit but at the same time he says its a honor for him when people WANT him to wear it. So I’ve pretty much been going back and forth on it because I get mixed feelings on him wanting to wear it or not and weather I should put him in a tux… I dont know I dont know. ((Our colors are Wine and Champagne (with guys wearing a black tux) and his uniform is a dark hunter green. ))
So what would YOU do?!
Post # 3
Personally, I would ask him to wear them. My brother left for officer training right after the wedding (literally) but if he had been active at that point I would have wanted him to wear his uniform. IMO they deserve that kinda respect. It may not necessarily go with the colors you have but in the grand scheme of it, it sounds like he would feel really honored to wear his uniform.
Post # 4
in my opinion i say let him wear his uniform. but my fiance is in the army so of course my opinion is biased. but i think if u have the guys wear the yellow ribbons then he could wear the tux and still be able to represent the military with the ribbon.
Post # 5
It would be rude of him to demand to wear his uniform, so I think he handled it with a lot of class.
I think he should wear his uniform. It speaks volumes: that you are proud of him, and that he is proud of himself.
Post # 6
It’s not exactly the same thing, but my Darling Husband is an police officer and wore his red serge in our wedding. Two of the groomsmen were also members and opted to just wear tuxes to match the rest of the groomsmen. I kind of get the idea of not wanting to take attention away from the wedding.
I think it’s totally up to you and him to figure out what you want to do, and both options are absolutely lovely. He just may be more comfortable blending into the crowd for the day, like our groomsmen were.
I think the idea of using the ribbons is a very touching alternative.
Post # 7
Personally, since he’s indicated that he’s fine wearing a tux and matching the rest of the groomsmen – that is what I would do. I don’t think that is being disrespectful to him and his service at all. He even said himself that he doesn’t want the attention on him being the only one up there in uniform.
I do think the yellow ribbons instead of flower bouts is a really nice touch and very classy. If shows that you respect and support him and his service (as well as that of others) while still letting him ensure the attention is on you and your Fiance.
Post # 8
My boyfriend is in the Air Force and would prefer not to wear his uniform for any social events. It will bring a certain amount of attention to him and people can be very intrusive with the questions they ask him. Your friend might want a night off from being the military guy.
Post # 9
I mean in the end its up to you, but if you dont care if he wears his uniform i would say let him. Though my brother isnt in my wedding party (FI has 5 brothers so no need to put mine in there) i’ve asked him to wear his dress blues (marine corps) i just think they look so nice and im very proud of him. He leaves for Afghanistan the week after the wedding so i think its fitting. By The Way my whole wedding date was planned around his deployment.
Post # 10
@totheislnds: I do think it is a very different scenario to have a military guest in their dress uniform and a groomsman in dress uniform. One is highly visible, front and (semi-) center while the other one is amoungst a bunch of other guests.
Post # 11
yeah I know in the end its up to me… I am just honestly torn. I have been going back and forth… and really cant make up my mind! One day I sit here and think oh it’d be an honor to have him wear it, and the next I night I think like @pasquel where he may want the night off from wearing his uniform, I wish he’d just tell me straight up yeah i wanna wear it or nope i’d rather wear a tux with the rest of the guys.
@totheislnds – What your doing is very sweet to me to plan around your brothers deployment!! It shows how much he means to you! I’m sure he loved that you decided to do that as well!! Such a nice thing to do!!
Post # 12
My hubby is retired military and did not wear his uniform for our wedding or any weddings. As a matter of fact none of his military friends did either. My daughter is getting married next year and her brother is in the wedding and will be wearing a tux like the rest of the groomsmen. If your friend is not concerned about it, you are worrying your pretty little head over nothing!
Simply take time to thank the vets in your life, particularly today, and then go about your business. There is no hard fast rule for uniforms and weddings.
Best of luck to you.
Post # 13
i would ask him to wear the tux for the same reason pasquel said. yellow ribbon bouts is such a sweet idea! i would put the yellow ribbon under a flower.
Post # 14
So.. I figured I would update ya’ll. The groomsmen is being restationed across the country (literally from Washington State to Georgia) but he just hurt himself so he has to have surgery anyways long story short… he wants to wear his uniform one b/c he thinks its cool i’ll let him and two he thinks it will save him and his wife money since they are doing a big move and having to get a new place and stuff. He said military pays for most of it but its still going to cost alot and since his wife is also in the wedding she is buying the bridesmaid dress it’ll at least save them the tux rental.
BUT I really really really appreciate everyones thoughts on it. Because I was totally 100% confused on what to do! And had decided on him wearing the tux from everyones feedback. but i’m totally not against him wearing his uniform so it works out either eay!!
Thanks Again Everyone!!