Post # 1
My SO is in the Army National Guard in the middle of Phase 2 for OCS. It’s one a weekend a month bt they’re three day weekends and he comes back really beat up. It’s become the standard that he takes off Monday afterwards now because he’s so exhausted. One weekend a month isn’t bad it’s just that last months weekend and this months weekend only feel two weeks apart.
We haven’t spent much time together other than a few hours in the evenings a couple days during the week for the last month. I went away one weekend to see a friend (it ended up not really being a good trip) the next weekend he had OCS, the following weekend I went to visit friends (he considering coming but was too tired from OCS the weekend before) and then this past weekend he had OCS again. I’m not complaining about any this. These things happen when you’re with a military person.
Today is his Monday after and he’s taking off. We made dinner reservations and he promised we’d go. He’d rest today then he’d go to my apartment to chill for the afternoon and then we’d go for dinner. Now he messages me and says he’ll have to cancell on dinner. He doesn’t feel well. Had to do some stuff in the water this weekend so he might have a cold and he pulled some muscles in his legs. This sucks.
I’m upset and I can’t decide what to do. Knowing that he was planning to go to my apartment I had planned to take off early to chill with him a bit before hand and give him the massage I usually give him after his army weekends. (He didn’t know this.)
Should I stay at work and suck it up then go home and finish my house chores? I’ve also toyed around with still leaving early and going to his house and taking care of him since he’s not feeling well. I can’t recruit a friend or family memeber to go to dinner with me because I’m broke and he was playing. Also I’m leary about going to far (his house is an hour and a half away) because my mom just told me my dad’s back in the hospital again, 2x in 2 days his knee is really infected from surgery and he might have to go back into surgury again.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, but I’m in a long distance relationship with my former Army paratrooper FH. He’s 8 hours away (we work at different bases) in a different state and we see each other once or twice a month if we’re lucky. So really, it could be worse for you (and worse for me, too!). cherish the time you guys have together and don’t get hung up on plans falling through. i’d call up that restaurant and get a to-go order of what you were going to have (he can pay you back) and bring it to him and just hang out, cuddle, give him that massage… the point is being together, it doesn’t matter if it’s at the restaurant or not. and, he’ll feel totally lucky to have a girl that’d go out of her way like that! i’d make sure he’ll actually be there first and isn’t just playing hookey lol.
Post # 4
I know it’s not the biggest deal, and I’m not really mad at him. It just sort of sucks.
He’s definately not playing hookey. It’s just not his personality. I think I will head down to his house in a bit with a movie or something.
Post # 5
I am new so I am not sure I have a “right” to be chiming in here, but I agree with Ellie. It is a downer that your original plans fell through, but make the best of it by getting out early and go take care of him. As you already recognize, with military you have to get used to certain things the same way you would have to with a cop, fireman or even high level business man as a husband/fiance/boyfriend. They all have their own demands on loved ones. My FH works in business which often requires 12:30 AM nights on a Friday and 1 Sunday a month. It often changes our plans, but its something that is part of his job for now.
Its a bit of a drive, but if your dad goes into surgery and you want to be there you can still drive home and be there when he gets out. chances are if he needs surgery they will be quick to send him and you wont be of use to start or schedule for tomorrow and you can be home by then.
Post # 6
I’m sorry your plans were canceled, but he needs you. He is not feeling well and he needs you to be there for him. If your original plans were to leave early and give him a massage, you get home early and give him a massage. This is your MAN, make him some soup and reschedule.