(Closed) MIL’s strong beliefs – help!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What a nutjob fighting with you over children you didn’t even have. She is the grandmother not the parents, ignore her and let her son deal with her. I hope he puts her in her place. DON”T stay with her, I’m glad you live far away. Have your fi tell her you aren’t staying with her.

Post # 4
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@vancityjen76:  Ok I understand that some people believe that vaccinations hurt children but what is up with the hair thing. Just keep all this only to your visit and make sure you take a little bit of a vacation time after beeing exposed to her. 

Post # 5
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

She sounds crazy as hell!

Post # 6
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Actually I am not exactly pro-vaccine myself and if I was a Grandmother I might try to influence my son/daughter to limit the number of vaccines and to start later but what this woman is doing is WAY out of line. And the hair thing has me puzzled as well. You are already trying to limit contact, other than vacationing elsewhere, I don’t know what you can do. DEFINITELY do not stay with this woman. She sounds downright toxic.

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would flat out tell her that until she keeps her views to herself, she won’t be able to see her grandsons

Post # 8
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Crazy.

Don’t really know what to tell you except to stand your ground. I would be tempted to cut all ties with her based on how she acts.

Post # 9
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know that this is easier said than done, but the bottom line is YOU and your Fiance are the PARENTS. Whatever you say is the bottom line and the be-all, end-all. She can have all the opinions she wants, but in the end, it’s too bad because what YOU say goes. Be confident in that right (and responsibility) and whenever she starts mouthing off, say the mantra, “These are MY kids, MY responsibility, MY kids.” 

I’m aware that people have different feelings on vaccinations, but here some points that I think are worth considering and you can offer them up to her as a matter of discussion if you want to vaccinate: 

1. There have been NO proven links between vaccinations and autism. All of the associations are anecdotal (and yes, the anecdotes are very powerful, but to date, this has been studied and studied and studied and still nothing)

2. The risk of child developing autism because of vaccines is either non-existent (if you believe #1), but at the very least, much lower than the child contracting any of the diseases for which the vaccines are designed to protect against–and many of those diseases are incurable and fatal. 

3. You are putting OTHER CHILDREN at risk when you don’t vaccinate your own. It may lead to your child being socially isolated (lots of parents won’t arrange playdates with unvaccinated kids), and it can also affect where you might be able to enroll your child when it comes to nursery school and daycare. 

 

On the hair thing, I’ve got nothing except that it’s weird. 

Post # 10
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t vaccinate & I tend to be on the crunchy side, but I would never act that way towards my DIL (or any other mother, for that matter). Making decisions as a mother is one of the hardest & most important things we can do, and it’s up to each woman to do what’s best for her children.

What does your FH think of all this?

Post # 11
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would tell her that until she can provide medical proof that vaccines cause autism that she needs to let it go. Jenny McCarthy is a celebrity, not a doctor. There is no known cause of autism.

As for the hair cutting is that a religious thing? I know I have seen some Orthodox religions that do not allow a child’s hair cut before a certain age.

 

Post # 12
Member
344 posts
Helper bee

The whole Autism/vaccine issue was de-bunked about 6 months ago.

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Welcome to the hive! Sounds like it’s a good thing that you live so far away from your MIL! How about striking a deal with her? I’d have your SO call her up and tell her that you will stay with her on this trip if, and only if, she will not comment on your parenting – that includes discussing vaccinating and their hair. If you get there and she goes back on her word, you pack up and go stay in a hotel or with another relative. If she doesn;t agree, well maybe it’s time you started alternating your vacations so they aren’t always to see her!

Post # 16
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

*chuckle* 

I’d sort of like to see her face if you showed up with your boys wtih their long “masculine” hair, but wearing pink pinafores. 

 

The topic ‘MIL’s strong beliefs – help!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors