(Closed) Mind and Heart conflict

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: For 30's women waiting/ Do you have a timeline you want your boyfriend to propose?
    By December 2010 : (6 votes)
    43 %
    By December 2011 : (4 votes)
    29 %
    By December 2012 : (1 votes)
    7 %
    No Timeline : (3 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t have one of those timelines( it’s different) but I totally feel you. I won’t be 30 til April, but I’m quite anxious. 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    797 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I completely understand!  My situation is somewhat similar, my SO wants to finish school before getting married.  Problem: he isn’t in school now!  He has one more semester left and then is off to medical school.  So I’ve tried to reason with him… “Who says we have to get married before you finish school?  I was talking engagement!”  Okay that’s not good reasoning skills, but I’m someone who wouldn’t mind a long engagement, that way we could be officially progressing our relationship but still reach our individual goals before actually being married.  Win-win situation, which is why I’m saying by December 2011!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2742 posts
    Sugar bee

    Um, I’m 32 and I know that it might come out somehow but here goes: When I was in my 20’s, I never gave much thought to time. I even met my Fiance when I was in my 20’s but 4 years later, I turned 32 and I had to be like “Huh, what’s going on? I need some stability and need to know where we are heading” He’s off to grad school now BUT I didn’t want to wait. So all’s I’m saying is, I feel you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Yeah, I know how you feel. I’m 31 and my SO is 30.  We are all done with school and working now so at least you two have reasons.  I think just being in your 30s brings more presure to the situation.  For me I put DEC 2010.  I’m really working on making sure that my SO actually wants to be married and have children soon!!  When we were in school and starting our careers I did not think of it as much because we were so busy plus we were young. Now I can’t stop thinking about it!!  I think that if you are not in a rush to get married (ie – wanting to have children with him soon) then waiting is probably the best thing to do from your situation.  Just make sure he knows that you are thinking about it and I would talk about it too so it doesn’t come as a big surprise for him when you are ready for the plung!!  Welcome to the hive. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Talk to HIM about the timeline. HE is the ONLY one who can give you that answer. Does he want to be engaged? Have you discussed this? What is his timeline? What is his reasoning behind the timeline? These are all really important questions you should have answers to if you are considering marriage.

    Post # 8
    Member
    736 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m hoping  by the end of the year. I’m 34 and the clock is a ticking away. I’m ready to settle down and have a family. I want to get married by next October (when I will be 35).

    Post # 9
    Member
    256 posts
    Helper bee

    I won’t be 30 until March, but I voted anyways.  🙂  My FH is 31, and just started his career in September after finishing his PhD.  I voted for Dec 2011, but the actual timeline is more like May/June 2011.  He took a job in Vancouver, and I am still in Ohio finishing school.  I told him I was happy to relocate (I’m actually a Canadian citizen since I was born there) but I made it very clear I wouldn’t move until we were engaged.  I finish school in May, so that’s sort of the timeframe we’re looking at.

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