(Closed) Mini-emergency! Please help!!!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

alot people think that if they are invited to the shower, that automatically means they are invited to the wedding too. in this situation i think there is no other way but to reply and let her know that the wedding ended up being family only.. 

Post # 4
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yikes…not a fun situation.  Did you let the girls know they were being invited to the shower in lieu of being invited to the wedding?  If not, that could be where the confusion comes from…usually the only women invited to the shower are also women who are invited to the wedding.  Not saying that is ALWAYS the case, but that could be the source of confusion.  I’d call up your friend (avoid facebooking it at all costs) and just be honest…no need to sugar coat things at this point!  And if she missed the shower, then she probably didn’t get the “invited in lieu of” memo anyhow.

Post # 5
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

According to etiquette, people shouldn’t be invited to showers if they aren’t invited to the wedding.  It’s like saying they aren’t important enough for the main event, but you’ll still take their gift.  I think her assumption that she was invited is totally reasonable.  Asking to bring her boyfriend is not.

Post # 7
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@marissabreanna:

I have to agree with bells.  When people are invited to showers they think they are invited to the wedding.  It will be hard but maybe tell her that the wedding is family only due to number/money and that you meant no offence. 

And maybe you could have a causal potluck party for the friends that couldn’t come to the wedding, so they get to see you and spend time with you and your new husband.

Post # 8
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@guitargirl: See that is the very reason I don’t think we’ll have any showers.  Our wedding is 40 people and all immediate family only (that more than half live out of town).  So it looks bad to invite the aunts and uncles to a shower when they won’t be at the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@marissabreanna:  By The Way that causal potluck party is what FH and I are thinking of doing for our friends and family that we couldn’t invite to the wedding.  Us making a ton of BBQ and everyone bring a dish and just stop by and have fun. 

Post # 11
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with PP that I have always heard not to invite people to the shower who aren’t invited to the wedding. Sorry you didn’t know that before =/

I definitley think that the boyfriend should not be invited especially if you are having that small of a wedding and can’t have over the number. Maybe wait for somebody to RSVP no and give her a slot? That sounds bad…oops.

Post # 13
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Bells had the right comment for the one who contact you.

Yikes, this is sticky!

The topic ‘Mini-emergency! Please help!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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