(Closed) Mini FMIL Rant

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@LLRininger:  I’m pretty sure FMIL only gets to be picky about the guest list if she is making it and throwing the party.  I think you responded perfectly.

Post # 5
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LLRininger:  You responded properly, I think it was in poor form for her to have asked you at all. It’s not her party.

Post # 6
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I hear ya!  Just keep being diplomatic and then move 1000+ miles away like I am haha 😉

Post # 8
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@LLRininger:

I can kind of see where she’s coming from.  First off she didn’t seem rude to me the way she asked and 2ndly couple showers aren’t traditional so she might not be up for those things.  If it’s not going to be a couple’s shower than normally you invite people who are close to the groom anyways.  I’m not saying your in the wrong but I don’t blame Michelle’s mom for being hurt by this situation.  No one wants to come as an “ohwell I don’t want to fight with the person who brought up you not coming” guest.

Post # 10
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You did the right thing! If she was throwing the shower for you then she should probably have more of a say, but since she isn’t, she’s welcome to input her opinions but the shower is about YOU, or you and your fiance if you’re having it together.

Post # 11
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LLRininger:  I definitely agree with your response, you haven’t done anything wrong.  She’s not hosting the party so she doesn’t get to make the guest list.  Also, I don’t think it would even occur to me to start inviting people I’ve only met once to my wedding shower, and aren’t related…  If you started including everyone you’ve only met once on your shower guest list, it is going to be one huge party.  I also think her original text was rude, as if she was assuming some “mal intent” to exclude Michelle’s mother from the party, and that would definitely put me off.  If she wants to make the guest list, then she can host the shower.

Post # 12
Member
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@LLRininger:  Wow.  I think your FMIL’s text was rude.  Maybe it was just a poor choice of words but when you say “did you mean to exclude” someone, it implies that you sat there and said, “No!  I’m not inviting her!” Like its some kind of deliberate snub or something. 

To follow that up with the guilt trip well, I’m not sitting here envying you the MIL you’re getting is all I’m saying. 

While I would be among the first to say your FMIL doesn’t owe it to you to throw you a shower, I do kind of think maybe your FI should have a quiet word with her reminding her that she chose not to participate so its a little late to complain.  She could also handle her questions a lot better.  “Would it be possible to invite X?  She loves FI and I know she’d love to be included but I understand if you’ve reached capacity.” is a lot better than what she wrote.

Post # 14
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@LLRininger:

I had no idea that you already tried to get a list out of her.  If your tried than it’s her fault and personal I would tel her that.  Again I never said you were wrong. I do think it’s strange that he got hurt that she didn’t host him one but maybe there’s more to it.  While yes bridal showers are about celebrating the bride it’s also about both sides of family and friends getting to know each other and becoming friends.

This whole issue with your soon to be mother in law just tells me that honestly you and her need to sit down and talk.  Figure out a way so that you can become civil and hopefully close.  I’m not saying you should fake being nice but if theirs a way to be friends you should find it.  Most likely your fiance is never going to tell her he never wants to see her again.  Now is the best time to try to have a friendly relationship because I highly doubt you and your fiance are going to want her to be the worst mother in law possible.  That’s just my opinion so feel free to do whatever you want.

The topic ‘Mini FMIL Rant’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors