Post # 1
Fiance and I got engaged back in October..his best friend (who lives in Missouri, we live in Minnesota) got engaged the month before we did. We were still discussing wedding dates when his friend announced his wedding would be September 29th.
A little back story..my mom is sick with stage 4 colon cancer for a coupel years that has spread to her liver. This month we found out that it has spread to her neck and stomach as well.
When discussing wedding dates I wanted my parent’s anniversary (Aug 11th) which lands on Saturday this year! It was perfect. Fiance thought that announcing our wedding after theirs, and on a date before theirs was rude and insisted we have ours after?? So we went with Nov 3rd. Now that I know my mom is getting sicker, I’m getting more and more bitter that he didn’t let me have the date I wanted. I know it’s out of my hands now, but I can’t help but fear the worst. He still defends his choice, and I get not wanting to step on toes..but I’m sure his friend would have understood be wanting the best shot of having my mom at our wedding…and the sentiment involved with the date. Ok, rant over.
Post # 3
in this situation i completly agree with you, but that date will have sentimental value to you either way. Maybe talk to you FH about it again and explain why its so important and your fears for your mothers health
Post # 4
I agree with you. and any friend that doesn’t understand your reasoning is not a friend
Post # 6
@Steph18: Yeah, I agree. As soon as we officially announced the day I now love Nov. 3rd and am so so so excited. Just all of a sudden I was hit with this bitterness of “if she doesn’t make it it our wedding it’s your fault” which, I’d never say to him, but I FEEL it.. probably a little harsh..
Oh well, there’s no changing the date now… Thanks for listening ladies. 🙂
Post # 7
I feel that your mother being at your wedding is way more important than the perceived politeness of when to have your wedding in relation to your friends. If I were you I’d move up the wedding. You don’t want to harbor such intense feelings of regret and bitterness if something should happen before your big day. The feelings won’t go away, they’ll just get worse (if something should happen). Hugs!! Wishing you the best!!
Post # 8
I am so sorry. I firmly believe dates should be the decision of the couple. You get a day. And since this is his friend, he should be more understand.
Now if it werea family and too much traveling back and forth, lack of cash flow, ect. then I could understand but they are only friends. That shouldn’t conflict with the guests too much. Your fiancé is lucky you are taking it in stride, I wouldn’t be ok with it.