- 5 years ago
Sometimes waiting is so hard (as everyone here knows – after all, there’s a reason we’re Waiting Bees)! My SO and I have had some talks about marriage and engagement, and he is often inconsistent. (He’ll go from detailed discussions of our wedding ceremony plans that HE initiates to “I don’t know if I want to get married” in the course of a few days.) It’s because of this, rather than the Shut It Up Pact, that I just try not to bring up the subject unless it happens because of something else that’s going on (like discussing a friend’s marriage/seeing a commercial that sparks a conversation/getting confronted about it by his or my families). I am letting him take the time he needs – whatever that may be – to wrap his head around and come to a place of peaceful comfort with the whole idea. And of course the silent waiting is hard, but I’m trying to be zen about it. But it’s hard to be relaxed and easygoing about the whole thing when he pulls stunts like this:
We were sitting at the table today, discussing the pregnancy of my best friend (and the names she and her partner have selected for their son) and he pipes up with, “If we get married, I’ll take your last name.”
This preference of his to take my name (for various reasons) was something I was already aware of, but…really? I’m trying not to give you a hard time about the whole proposal thing (he had said without any prompting from me that he would propose at the end of September 2012, since we would have been living together for a full year at that point, and he thought that “was a good length of time,” and obviously he didn’t end up doing that), you KNOW I’m having difficulty dealing with this and putting it out of my mind, and you not only bring it up, but in “if” rather than “when” terms?! This man is the love of my life, but he’s killing me!