(Closed) Mini waiting vent – birthday was a bust and money sucks

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m sorry you were let down, especially on your birthday! I know what you are going through. My now husband started talking about us getting married after 3 months. Which made the next year and a half hard because I was always thinking oh it will come for my birthday, out christmas, etc. I remember the letdown and it sucked. But, he did propose in his own time and now we are happily married. My husband isn’t an accountant but he is an engineer who is very analytical. He also was worried about the money. But, we ended up having our classy 120 person wedding for $7500 in Orange County no less. We did a honeymoon registry and that paid for most of our extravagant honeymoon. Just make sure your boyfriend knows that the price the wedding industry quotes for the average wedding is designed to make couples feel like they have to spend a ton of money. But you don’t have to!

Post # 4
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

oh girl i hear you haha.. my boyfriend is the “saving” type if you will… hearing the price of a wedding totally freaks him out! i think he’s gotten used to it now.  there are ways to cut down cost though and you will just have to show him in time.  I’ll randomly find a gorgeous place for a really good price and tell him and he gets more interested/excited.  I don’t think he will ever be completely happy spending a lot of money on a wedding but it’s all a compromise.. we are actually going to (most likely) get married a few hours away where its much cheaper.  we live in nj and ct is way cheaper.. and getting married a few hours away will weed out the people who you dont really need at your wedding, making it a more manageable affair 🙂  that was our compromise .. you just need to ease him into it.. if i discussed this with my boyfriend 2 years ago he wouldve told me i was crazy and that a wedding shouldnt cost more than $1,000 haha!

also, i would totally stick to your guns about buying a house.. you have to put your foot down somewhere right! 🙂  Good luck though it sounds like you are really close and your birthday sounds amazing!  It sucks that there was no proposal but maybe he has something better in store for you! (God I wish I could take my own advice!  I know from experience it’s easier said than done!!)

Post # 5
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@readynwaiting58:  This is my life!!! It’s like the exact same situation. I keep telling him I’d be absolutely happy with less expensive options but HE wants the big ring, the big wedding, etc and won’t be happy with himself if it’s “crappy.”

I have no advice to offer- only sympathy. It’s not fun.

Post # 6
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

The money thing has been a huge issue for my SO as well. He happens to have several friends who have gone into debt to pay for their weddings (and are still paying it off several years later) and doesn’t want that for us–and I strongly agree. He also doesn’t want me to compromise on the things I want (and elopement isn’t really an option for us either). However, what helped in our case is clarifying what type of wedding I do want–and it doesn’t involve over the top decorations and extravagant venues.

I’m not sure what area you’re from, but at least in my experience, the average wedding cost for my friends has been well under the national average–I honestly think that number is skewed. Maybe since your SO is a numbers guy, it might help to price check a few big things (ask friends who got married, or call around) just to get an idea of what will actually be involved. Also, reiterate that what’s important to you at the end of the day is to be married to him. The rest is just details.

Post # 8
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Good luck!

The topic ‘Mini waiting vent – birthday was a bust and money sucks’ is closed to new replies.

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